Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 18 October 2016
  • Currently 9.54/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1729)

A lion woke up one morning fee...

A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey said, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronted a deer and bellowed, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified deer stammered, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll, the lion swaggered up to an elephant and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The elephant snatched up the lion with his trunk, slammed him against a tree, stomped on him and then ambled away.
The battered lion hollered after the elephant, "Sheesh, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

“He knew his lot in l

“He knew his lot in life was to create the world's greatest mosquito repellant. He had a deet with destiny.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Little Nancy was in the garden...

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your fricking cat."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (40)

BETTER THAN EATING THE EVIDENCE

Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

"Hey Joe, he yells out - I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal out of it,...it's only an earring." Says Joe sheepishly.

"No really," probes Morris, "How long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.12/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (17)

Funny Photo of the day - A sushi in a hurry?

A sushi in a hurry? - Don't let your sushi get away on bike | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

 Millionnaire

A miserable-looking man was sitting in a bar one night.
"Why are you looking so sad?" asked the barman.
"My wife's made me a millionaire." said the man.
"If my wife made me a millionaire, I'd be the happiest man on earth", said the barman.
"Yes, but before I met her I was a multimillionaire."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 03 September 2015
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Animated GIF - Good thing he was wearing safety goggles

Good thing he was wearing safety goggles - Good thing he was wearing safety goggles - link to page gif is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Chuck Norris does not beg to d...

Chuck Norris does not beg to differ. Differ begs to Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 October 2011
  • Currently 2.71/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (35)

Find a famous person

Find the first and the last name of a famous person. Text may go in all 8 directions. Length of words in solution: 6,6.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Second Honeymoon

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon."

"Uh huh," said the old man.

"We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.

"Uh huh," said the old man.

"And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon," said the old woman.

"That's right," said the old man, "except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 October 2011
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (30)

Jessi Klein: You Look A Lot Like...

This co-worker of mine, who I dont know well at all, comes up to me and goes, Hey Jessi, I dont know if anyones ever told you this before, but you look a lot like Anne Frank. I didnt really know where to put that as a remark. But the worst thing is that my first thought was, Was Anne Frank hot?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 18 October 2010
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (29)

“I suspected our new ...

“I suspected our new house guest was a terrorist. He asked to sleep on a blow up mattress.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 18 October 2013
  • Currently 4.69/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (13)

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