Jokes of the day for Saturday, 03 December 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 03 December 2016
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (937)

An Irishman, an Italian, and a...

An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At McDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and McDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a nice place.
Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Vinny buys you another drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place called Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?"
"No," replies the Polish guy, "but it happened to my sister!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

Dog gone!

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with my dog Rollo while you are waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands and sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."

The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through and over the rail of the balcony. Just then, Paul's date walked out.

"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?" she gushed.

Paul panicked. "To tell the truth," he said, "he seemed a little depressed to me."

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Funny video of the day - Fails of the Week (December 2016)

Fails of the Week (December 2016) - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

 Knock Knock Collection 0


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alfalfa!
Alfalfa who?
Alfalfa you, if you give me a kiss!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alfie!
Alfie who?
Alfie terrible if you leave!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alfred!
Alfred who!
Alfred of the dark!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alfred!
Alfred who!
Alfred the needle if you sew!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ali!
Ali who?
Ali, Ali oxen free!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“After three days of

“After three days of fishing, the musician hoped he would catch a bassoon.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Upside Down House

Upside Down House | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Some 'Senior' personal ads s...

Some 'Senior' personal ads seen in ''theVillages'' Florida newspapers:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)
FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.Matching white shoes andbelt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation.If you are the silent type, let's get together,take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosserto share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock,still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen,let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.
MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair,many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
#joke #friday #monday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2016
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Animated GIF - Amazing magic trick

Amazing magic trick - Amazing magic trick - link to page gif is posted initially.
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

Why was the Blonde fired from ...

Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's!
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 03 December 2009
  • Currently 5.65/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (43)

Calculate the number 790

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 790 using numbers [9, 2, 7, 7, 16, 718] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Dane Cook: Dropping Your Phone in Your Own Piss

Im in a new club, by the way. And I dont know if youre first timers like I am, but Im in the I Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss Club. Have you done that? Yeah, good times. Im on the phone and I forget that Im using shoulder technique. Urinals were taken so I went in to use the regular john. And as Im standing there, mid-conversation, Im like Are you serious? and it just started to toboggan right down my powerful chest.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 03 December 2011
  • Currently 3.37/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (27)

Welcome to our on-line store Fashion Studio BELKA. Our names are Branka Petrovic and Jasna Milutinovic.
The products which we offer are handcrafted items made of natural materials such as finest quality wool from the Sharr Mountains, silk, cotton and lace. It is all blended with natural soap....and...creativity. Here are some beautiful and unique fashion accessories.
We started doing this three years ago as a hobby. Eventually, creating different and unique materials has become our passion. I wish you pleasant shopping.

The guy says, before we go any...

The guy says, before we go any further, I should warn you that I'm hung like a baby.

His new husband looked a bit disappointed, but then said well thats ok, now I have something to tell you. This isn't really my penis, I use a little padding. He takes his clothes off and sure enough he is as small as a pea pod.

The guy then takes his pants off and this huge penis flops out. He stares in disbelief and says, I thought you said you were hung like a baby.

He says Yea, I am 16 inches, 7 1/2 pounds.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 03 December 2010
  • Currently 4.54/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (26)

Chuck Norris invented the Caes...

Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 03 December 2011
  • Currently 5.48/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (25)

Carrot, Tomato, and ...

There's a carrot, a tomato, and a penis. The carrot said "I have the worst life of all. I get chopped up, put in a cake, and eaten."

The tomato says "No, I have the worst life of all. I get chopped up, put in a salad, and eaten".

Then the penis said, "I, my friends, have the worst life of all. I get a plastic bag shoved over my head, and then pushed back and forth into a warm tunnel until I choke!".

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 03 December 2011
  • Currently 3.21/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (24)

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