Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 10 May 2017
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1946)

Happy New Year 2021!! Happy New Year 2021

GOP Promises – News from The Onion

GOP Promises Americans Will Be Able To Keep Current Medical Conditions If Obamacare Repealed.

Click here to read the full Text

 

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

“After threading toge

“After threading together a fishing net the angler felt mesh better about himself.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Walter White went from teachin

Walter White went from teaching chem to teaching meth.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Two guys from Blount County ar...

Two guys from Blount County are sittin' in a boat on Douglas Lake fishing and suckin' down beer when all of a sudden Bill says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months."
Earl sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

A game of baseball

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.47/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (15)

 There Is A Blind Man Here To See You


A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the shower. Send him in."
The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

What is VPMMRVYOPM

If EOMFPE=WINDOW then VPMMRVYOPM=?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Daniel Tosh: Blaming the Amish

Am I the only person who blames global warming entirely on the Amish? Are they not a constant reminder of how awful life would be without all this great technology? Every time I want to cut back and conserve on natural resources, I just look at the Amish and I'm like, 'F**k that.'
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.84/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (25)

Guide: "I welcome you all to N

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard...
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 April 2015
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Rainbows are what happens when...

Rainbows are what happens when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Richard Simmons.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 10 May 2012
  • Currently 3.59/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (39)

Chuck Norris does, in fact, li...

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 May 2011
  • Currently 3.62/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (37)

My kids love going to the...

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 May 2009
  • Currently 5.03/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (34)

Steven Wright 21

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I'll let you have the pen!

What do batteries run on?

Are there any questions?

I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I came back.

I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it. You know, you turn it upside down then you turn it back and it starts to snow. I bought one, except this has a snow plow that does it in rows.

[Later] I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it... Just checking.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 10 May 2012
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (29)

Chuck Norris drew the line and...

Chuck Norris drew the line and made Johnny Cash walk it.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 May 2013
  • Currently 4.47/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (17)

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