Jokes of the day for Friday, 01 September 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 01 September 2017
  • Currently 9.52/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (2076)

The mother of a problem child

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes," the boy's mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Who cares?" the mother replied.
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

“Receiving a Nobel Pr

“Receiving a Nobel Prize is, nevertheless, a ringing endorsement.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

Another diet craze? Here we go vegan!
#joke #short

Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Two quick ones...

Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac? He knew in advance what he was going to forget.

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Did you hear about the new restaurant that just opened up on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.

#joke #short
  • Currently 7.71/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (14)

 Geography Class


Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?
Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
Student: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Chuck Norris was originally ca...

Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack Bauer in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 01 September 2011
  • Currently 4.04/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (51)

Remove 6 letters from this seq...

Remove 6 letters from this sequence (MCIASCHAIDIIONG) to reveal a familiar English word.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Whitney Cummings: Silent Treatment

Ladies, next time your man pisses you off, do not give him the silent treatment. Instead, go Google the most important game of the season, sit next to him during that game and just ask as many f**king questions as possible. I dont understand, whos that guy in the striped shirt? Does he work at Foot Locker? I dont understand, why are they all wearing the same outfit? When are we going to have a baby? Eventually he will shoot himself in the face, and you f**king win that argument.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 01 September 2010
  • Currently 3.89/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (38)

When I was married, my wife us...

When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome.

Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 September 2008
  • Currently 7.03/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (36)

Cow insults can be very hard t...

Cow insults can be very hard to diss heifer.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 01 September 2010
  • Currently 2.85/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (26)

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