Jokes of the day for Thursday, 14 September 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 14 September 2017
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1795)

Good Sense

Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her 'the talk.'
'Sometimes, it’s easy to get carried away when you’re with a boy,' I said. 'Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life.'
'Don’t worry,' she said. 'I don’t plan on ruining my life until I get married.'

 

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Wikipedia: I know everything!\

Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you all nothing.
Electricity: Yeah, keep talking...
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - 12 years old till wedding day - Photo Every Day

12 years old till wedding day - Photo Every Day - You are married - game is over! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 3.58/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (19)

“A good meteor shower

“A good meteor shower can really rock your world.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

World's Greatest Sneezer

World's Greatest Sneezer: that's the life atchoos.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

 The Problems With Golf


The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

If Bible Characters Had Bumper Stickers

Biblical bumper stickers:Jonah: Save the WhalesThe Israelites: Honk If You Love MosesElijah: My Other Chariot RollsGoliath: Support the Ban on SlingshotsLot: If You Can’t See Sodom, You’re Too CloseMethuselah: Be Kind to Senior CitizensFrom "Moses' Favorite Travel Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009. Used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.
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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 February 2017
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Three lives have I. Gentle e...

Three lives have I. Gentle enough to soothe the skin, Light enough to caress the sky, Hard enough to crack rocks. What am I?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Family of tomatoes...

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 October 2008
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (15)

Chuck Norris once pulled out a...

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 September 2011
  • Currently 2.83/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (23)

John Mulaney: Benchwarmer Humiliation

I played basketball for five years, and I was a benchwarmer all five years. If you were never a benchwarmer, I cannot express to you the humiliation of, every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away -- then theyre just pants.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 September 2011
  • Currently 2.95/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (21)

Shhhh!

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 September 2010
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (20)

Modern Science

Researchers say they've discovered a tree extract that could

help to prevent herpes...

.. Must be a rubber tree...

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 September 2011
  • Currently 3.90/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (20)

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