Good Sense
Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her 'the talk.'
'Sometimes, it’s easy to get carried away when you’re with a boy,' I said. 'Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life.'
'Don’t worry,' she said. 'I don’t plan on ruining my life until I get married.'
Wikipedia: I know everything!\
Wikipedia: I know everything!Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you all nothing.
Electricity: Yeah, keep talking...
Funny video of the day - 12 years old till wedding day - Photo Every Day
World's Greatest Sneezer
World's Greatest Sneezer: that's the life atchoos.The Problems With Golf
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
If Bible Characters Had Bumper Stickers
Biblical bumper stickers:Jonah: Save the WhalesThe Israelites: Honk If You Love MosesElijah: My Other Chariot RollsGoliath: Support the Ban on SlingshotsLot: If You Can’t See Sodom, You’re Too CloseMethuselah: Be Kind to Senior CitizensFrom "Moses' Favorite Travel Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009. Used by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc.
Family of tomatoes...
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”
Chuck Norris once pulled out a...
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.Modern Science
Researchers say they've discovered a tree extract that couldhelp to prevent herpes...
.. Must be a rubber tree...
Shhhh!
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
John Mulaney: Benchwarmer Humiliation
I played basketball for five years, and I was a benchwarmer all five years. If you were never a benchwarmer, I cannot express to you the humiliation of, every Saturday morning, putting on a pair of breakaway pants and never having a reason to break them away -- then theyre just pants.