Jokes of the day for Monday, 25 September 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 25 September 2017
  • Currently 9.54/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1866)

Q & A Before & After Marriage

BEFORE MARRIAGE*
Man : I have been waiting for this day
Lady : Do you want me to leave?
Man : No
Lady: Do you love me?
Man: Of course
Lady: Will you ever cheat me?
Man: Never in my life
Lady: Will you ever hug me?
Man: Every chance I get
Lady: Will you hit me?
Man: Are you crazy?
Lady : Can I trust you?
Man: Yes
Lady: Sweet heart

*AFTER 25 YRS of MARRIAGE*
........ *Now Read from bottom to top*

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

When Abe returned home from wo

When Abe returned home from work, his wife Ruth said, "So how was your day?"
He replied, "I met an artist and I've never met someone so talented. He said he painted a picture of a cobweb on his wall and it looked so real, the maid tried for over an hour to get it off.
Ruth said, "I don't believe him."
"Why not?" said Abe, "some artists are very good indeed."
"Maybe," said Ruth, "But maids aren't."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

“Golfers in Canada ap

“Golfers in Canada approach the lynx carefully.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

There are few guarantees in li

There are few guarantees in life but a blue sky is azure thing.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

Eight-year-old Sally brought h

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.72/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (25)

The cat that swallowed the yarn...

Did you hear about that cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?

She had mittens!

#joke #short
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

A robber came into my store ...

A robber came into my store and stole $100 from the register without my knowledge. A few minutes later, the same guy came back with the $100 he stole and purchased $70 worth of items and I gave him $30 in change. How much money did I lose?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

 Your Dentist Is Crazy


The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy

  1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
  2. His restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders"
  3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
  4. Does an extensive search for cavities...dental and body.
  5. He...ummm..licks his tools clean.
  6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.
  7. When you come to from being under the gas, he's quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.
  8. Wears a necklace made of human teeth.
  9. Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.
  10. Insists that a Novacaine shot is something that he'll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.


#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 10 January 2015
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

q: What do you get when you c...

q: What do you get when you cross an impressionist painter with a New York City cab driver?

A: You get Vincent Van Go Fuck Yourself.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 25 September 2008
  • Currently 3.97/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (59)

Top 10 Mom Scoldings in the Bible

10. Sampson, get your hands off of that lion, you don't know where it's been!
9. David, I told you not to play in the house with that string! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons.
8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
7. Shadrach, Meschach and Abendeco! I told you, never play with fire!
6. Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!
5. Noah, no you can' t help them. Don't bring home any strays.
4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at my clothes.
3. James and John! No more burping at the dinner table, please. People are going to call you sons of thunder.
2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?
1. Jesus! Close the door! You think you were born in a barn.
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member Jalus

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 September 2009
  • Currently 2.85/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (40)

Hurt Bee Back

Q: How did the bee hurt his back?

A: He fell off his honey.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 September 2013
  • Currently 3.95/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (37)

As President Roosevelt said: "...

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 25 September 2011
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (36)

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