Jokes of the day for Sunday, 08 October 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 08 October 2017
  • Currently 9.51/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1312)

A new bride was a bit embarras...

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

When the Impressionist was a k

When the Impressionist was a kid he ran a Le Monet stand.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Getting tough

My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing.

One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulders muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, he would extend his arms straight out to his sides and hold them there as long as he could.

After awhile, he tried 10-pound potato sacks, then 50-pound potato sacks. Finally, he got to where he could lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than a full minute!

Next, he started putting potatoes in the sacks.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

 Programming Language Acronyms


ADA: A Dumb Arrangement
ADA: A Dumb Acronym
ADA: A Dumb Annoyance
BASIC: Boring And Shamelessly Idiotic Coders
BASIC: Badly Assembled, Severely Illogical Code
BASIC: Beginner's Algorithms for Seemingly Infinite Confusion
C: Crud
C: Confusing
COBOL: Completly Outdated, Badly Overused Language
COBOL: Completly Overused, Badly Outdated Language
COBOL: Cowards Only Buy Outdated Languages
COBOL: Cowards Only Build Outdated Languages
COBOL: Crap Operated By Obsessed lunatics
COBOL: Crap Often Bothers Our Lethargy
COBOL: Crap Ostracized By Our Loathing
COBOL: Compiles Only Because Of Luck
COBOL: Cumbersome, Overdone, Badly Organized Language
COBOL: Coded Only By Obsessed Lunatics
FORTRAN: Files Only Run Through Right At Never-neverland
LISP: Lots of Insanely Stupid Parentheses
LISP: Lots of Irritating Superfluous Parentheses
PASCAL:\Programmers Against Structured Code And Language

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

“The meaning of opaqu

“The meaning of opaque is unclear.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

roNG>Would you like to have

roNG>Would you like to have the Joke of the Day on your site? One line of HTML will put an automatically updated Joke of the Day wherever you like. For more information,
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 September 2015
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Find number abc

If 72315 + 131c1 = c5b9a find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Why White?

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 October 2012
  • Currently 7.08/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (37)

Blondes on a plane

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland.

Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2011
  • Currently 5.32/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (34)

In honor of Chuck Norris, all ...

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2011
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (33)

K9 Is For Assistance

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
#joke #blonde #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2016
  • Currently 8.21/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (28)

Jim Gaffigan: Wish I Was Ethnic

I wish I was ethnic; Im nothing. Cause if youre Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, Hes got a Latin temper. But if youre a white guy and you get angry, people are like, That guys a jerk.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 October 2011
  • Currently 4.74/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (23)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.