Jokes of the day for Saturday, 25 November 2017

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 25 November 2017
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1133)

A schoolgirl approaches her mo...

A schoolgirl approaches her mother and announces, "Mommy, I know where babies come from!"
"And where is that?" her mother asks.
"Well, Mommy and Daddy take their clothes off and Daddy's thingy sort of sticks out and Mommy puts it in her mouth and that's how you get babies," she explains.
"Oh darling, that's so sweet, but that's not how we get babies," her mother replies, "That's how we get flowers, jewelry, clothes and shoes!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

 Great School Humor


"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
--Groucho Marx
1890-1977


This reminds me of the student who began his Middle Ages story with:
"He was a dark and stormy knight...."


In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class.
Ninety-seven percent responded that they did.


Q: What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says "Get that gum out of your mouth", where as the train says "Chew, Chew ".


"The reason that every major university maintains a department of mathematics is that it is cheaper to do this than to institutionalize all those people."

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

In Spain, it is forbidden to a

In Spain, it is forbidden to abandon your feline. Except in Cat alonia.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

---My memory's not as sharp a

---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
--- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
---I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

I would tell you a j...

“I would tell you a joke about squirrels, but you would go nuts.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

More Parent Texting

More Parent Texting
#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Calculate the number 6140

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 6140 using numbers [8, 6, 6, 2, 22, 986] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Your car in heaven....

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will depend on your answer."

The first guy walks up and Peter asks him, "How long were you married?"

The first guy says, "24 years."

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?", Peter asked. The guy said, "Yeah, 7 times...but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter.

The second guy said, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year and we really worked it out good."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln."

The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!"

A few days later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk. When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 December 2014
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

An Irishman is walking along t...

An Irishman is walking along the beach one day, and he sees a bottle laying in the sand. He picks it up and starts to brush it off, and out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since you have freed me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes."
The Irishman thinks for a moment and says, "I'm feeling a might thirsty, I think I'll be wishing for a pint of stout."
POOF! There is a pint of stout in his hand. He drinks it down, and starts to throw the bottle, when the genie says, "I'd look at that bottle again before I threw it if I were you." So he looks at the bottle, and it is magicaly filling back up with stout. The genie told him, "That is a magic bottle, and it will always fill back up after you finish it." The genie then asked, "What other two wishes can I grant for you?"
The Irishman looks at the bottle in his hand and says, "I'll be taking two more of these."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 November 2009
  • Currently 5.32/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (50)

Jo Koy: My Inspiration

A lot of people are wearing t-shirts with pictures of people that inspire them to do stuff. I wear a picture of my son cause no one inspires me to work harder than my son. Its also a constant reminder to wear a condom.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 November 2011
  • Currently 3.66/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (32)

Hari Kondabolu: Vegan Thanksgiving

I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And its not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving -- thats just spitting on the graves, isnt it?
#joke #short #thanksgiving
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 25 November 2010
  • Currently 4.83/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (24)

White hairs

One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why are some of your hair white mom?"

The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.

The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said, "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 November 2016
  • Currently 8.22/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (23)

Knock-knock...

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police! Come out with your hands up!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 25 November 2012
  • Currently 5.05/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (20)

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