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Jokes of the day for Friday, 23 February 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 23 February 2018
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1940)

“If I want to gamble

“If I want to gamble online, do I use betcoins?”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

 Silly Collection 10


What do you call an American drawing?
Yankee doodle!

I was once in a play called "Breakfast in Bed"
Did you have a big role?
No just toast and marmalade!

What key went to college?
Yale!

What is a volcano?
A mountain with hiccups!

Why was the broom late?

It over slept!

What runs but never walks?
Water!

What is green, four legs and two trunks?
Two seasick tourists!


#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Ouch

ouch

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 1.87/10

Rating: 1.9/10 (15)

God and Adam...

In the Beginning, God created Heaven and Earth and then He created man: God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me."

Adam said, "Gladly, what do You want me to do?"

God said, "Go down into that valley."

And Adam said, "What's a valley?"

And God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

And Adam said, "What's a river?"

And God explained to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill."

And Adam said, "What is a hill?"

And God explained that to him. Then He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave."

And Adam said, "What's a cave?"

And God explained that to him, then said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."

And Adam said, "What's a woman?"

So God explained that to him, and said, "I want you to reproduce."

And Adam said, "How do I do that?"

So God explained to him.

So off went Adam, down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, and into the cave and found the woman, and in about fifteen minutes, Adam was back.

God patiently replied, as He always does, "Yes... how can I help you?"

And Adam said, "What's a headache?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 March 2015
  • Currently 7.07/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (14)

"Why are you so excited?" the

"Why are you so excited?" the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized.
"But doc, this is my first operation."
"Really? It's mine too, and I am not excited at all."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 February 2015
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Whitney Cummings: Problem With Vampires

The problem with vampires is they look like theyre 20, but theyre actually 100 years old. So youll be dating this hot, young guy who grew up in the Great Depression and hates Irish people. And then you take him out to a nightclub, and hes doing the Charleston. Or you think hes cheating on you, so you go through his journal. Youre like, Who the hell is this slut? Harriet Tubman? Who the f**k is that?
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 February 2012
  • Currently 3.89/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (54)

FLEX WORDLE

FLEX WORDLE Guess the WORDLE in 3 tries. After each guess, the color of the tiles will change to show how close your guess was to the solution.
Source: Genius Brain Teasers - Jokes Of The Day Partner

Chalk One Up For The Grandparents!

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.

Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 February 2017
  • Currently 8.84/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (51)

Sex and athletics....

It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.

In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 23 February 2009
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (40)

Pete Holmes: Employee Discount

What do you think the employee discount is at the Dollar Store? Do you think its just take it?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 February 2010
  • Currently 5.51/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (35)

scarf

Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store?

It was too tight

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 February 2013
  • Currently 4.42/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (31)

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