Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Thursday, 05 July 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 05 July 2018

A dog is truly a man's best f

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment: put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

The Eight Iron

Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball. After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, 'Jack, I've got trouble down here!'
'What's the matter?' Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
'Bring me my wedge,' Joe shouted. 'You can't get out of here with an eight iron!'

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #19 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“In order to win, sno

“In order to win, snooker players really need to be in the right frame of mind.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

 How Have Times Changed?


In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.
Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a Lawyer

A rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car broke down. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three quickly agreed. The rabbi said he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the rabbi left, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The rabbi entered exclaiming, "I can't sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!" The Hindu said HE would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problem with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu burst through the bedroom door saying, "There's a COW in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room as a cow! It's against my religion!" The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, said he'd go to the barn, as he had no problem sleeping with animals. In two minutes, the bedroom door burst open and the pig and the cow entered...
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 April 2018
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

An aged farmer and his wife we

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their Golden Wedding Anniversary.
"Let's have a big party, Homer," she suggested. "You'll need to kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 01 March 2017
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

How was I born?

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.

"Oh, the stork brought us too."

"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 July 2015
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

Kevin Hart: When You Lost a Fight to Your Woman

One time, she got me so mad, we got into a fist fight. You know how you know when you lost a fight to your woman? When the cops come to your house and ask you do you want to press charges. Thats how you know it didnt go as you planned.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 05 July 2011
  • Currently 5.03/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (64)

Birth control pills

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills."

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"

The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 July 2015
  • Currently 8.69/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (52)

Chuck Norris has to use a stun...

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 05 July 2011
  • Currently 3.08/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (51)

Answering Machine Message 208


(Gameshow-announcer voice:) Hello, and welcome to Phone Tag! (Cheers in background.) If you'd like to join the game, please leave your name and number at the beep, and we'll try to reach you when you're not around. And thanks once again for playing Phone Tag!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 05 July 2011
  • Currently 4.37/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (41)

Climbing

Q: Why did the blond climb the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 05 July 2011
  • Currently 4.96/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (28)

I hate it when people

I hate it when people are at your house and ask, “Hey do you have a bathroom?”, and i'm like : “No, not at all, we shit in the yard .”
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 24 February 2016
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Blonde Paint Job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 October 2010
  • Currently 6.83/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (6)

Which Book?

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied, “That would be my husband’s check book.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 09 November 2017
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.