Jokes of the day for Friday, 05 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 05 October 2018
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1520)

Doctor to a blonde patient: Do

Doctor to a blonde patient: Don't breathe.

Patient: Why doctor? Did you fart?
#joke #short #blonde #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

“The neurologist want

“The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

You Might Be A Redneck If ...

You might be a redneck if...
You think cur is a breed of dog.
People hear your car long before they see it.
Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
You've ever hitchhiked naked.
You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 05 December 2016
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

God is watching

One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching."

When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 11 October 2015
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A little town in southern Illinois ...

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the place and find out the cause. So the sociologists, anthropologists, birth control specialists and other concerned scientists moved to the town prepared to do a six-month study of the causes of the town's high birth rate.
The day the research testing and all was to begin, the director of the million-dollar project stopped off at the single cafe in town and ordered coffee. When the waiter delivered his drink, the scientist detained him for a moment and asked, "Can you give me an idea was to why your town,above all others in this country, has such a high birth rate?"
The waiter thought a moment, then said, "I think I can. You see, every morning at 4:00, the C&A Railroad comes through town and blows its whistle at all three street crossings. That wakes up the folks here and, as youcan guess, it's too darn late to go back to sleep and too darn early to get up."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 05 June 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Paper beats rock, rock beats s...

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 05 October 2011
  • Currently 4.12/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (33)

Calculate the number 2544

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 2544 using numbers [9, 9, 8, 3, 26, 294] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Porch or Lexus?

A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?

"$50" she replies

The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man's wife overheard their conversation and asked him if she had realized that the porch goes all around the house. "She should. She was standing on it"

A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You've finished already?" the man asked.

"Yeah, and i had paint left over so i gave two coats."

Impressed the man reaches for the money. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a porch. Its a Lexus."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 05 October 2011
  • Currently 5.84/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (25)

Alfred Robles: Girl Like a Report Card

I want a girl that reminds me of my report card: her face has to be an A, she has to have double DDs, cause tonight I want to F.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 05 October 2011
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (25)

Knock Knock Collection 189


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Walt!
Walt who?
Walt till your father gets home!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Walter!
Walter who?
Walter-wall carpeting!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda buy some Girl Scout cookies!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wannetta!
Wannetta who?
Wannetta time please!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Warner!
Warner who?
Warner you coming out to play!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 05 October 2011
  • Currently 4.22/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (23)

 I Get No Respect 04


"I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said... Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said.. No..I hate myself now."
"I had a girlfriend that was so fat her belly button made an echo."
"I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code."
"I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying...Caution Wide Load."
"My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent maker"
"One day I ran into my girlfriend with my car. She asked me why I didn't ride around her. I told her that I didn't think I had enough gas"
"I had a girlfriend that was so fat her bikini was made out of two bed sheets."
"I knew a girl that was so ugly that... her mother ripped in two when she had her."
"I knew a girl that was so ugly that... She uses a septic tank for a toilet."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 05 October 2017
  • Currently 1.68/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (19)

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