Jokes of the day for Sunday, 07 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 07 October 2018
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1173)

One day there were two boys pl

One day there were two boys playing by a stream.
One boy went over to the bush to check out some noises. He pointed out a woman bathing naked in the steam. So, both boys decided to stay and watch her.
All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend.
Finally he caught up to him and asked his friend why he had run away. The second boy said to his friend, "My mum told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

The Nuns Enter Heaven - DON'T USE FOR NL

Three nuns died and visited St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said he would admit them if they each answered one question.He turned to the first nun and asked, "Who was the first man?""Adam," the nun confidently replied. The trumpets sounded and the angels sang as the gates swung open and she walked into heaven.St. Peter turned to the second nun. "Who was the first woman?" "Eve," she replied. The trumpets sounded and the angels sang.Then St. Peter turned to the last nun. "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"The nun paused for a moment. "Gee, that's a hard one!"The trumpets sounded and the angels sang.
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Number 10
Life is sexua

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ....Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a 'slight' tax increase cost you $200.00, and a 'substantial' tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers:
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow!
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“The neurologist want

“The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Discussing The Tax Rates

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 27 July 2016
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

The new baby

A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.

"Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 October 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

What number comes next?

Look at the series (13, 403, 122512, ?), determine the pattern, and find the value of the next number!
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Pete Holmes: Uncool in Dreams

I cant seal the deal in my dreams. I hit on women in real life and theyre like, In your dreams. Im like, No. Not even there.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 07 October 2011
  • Currently 4.81/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (31)

Dirty Paddy

An Irish wife was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards, she slipped over and did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband. 'Paddy! Paddy!' she yelled.

Paddy came running in. 'Paddy I've suctioned myself to the floor,' she said.

'Ohhh nooo! Paddy said and tried to pull her up. 'You're just too heavy, love. I'll go across the road and get Shamus.'

Paddy comes back with Shamus and they both tried to pull her up.

'Nope, I can't do it,' Shamus said, 'Let's try plan C.'

'Plan C?' exclaimed Paddy. 'What's that?'

'I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we will break the tiles under her.'

'Oh okay,' Paddy said. 'While you're doing that I'll stay here and play with her tits.'

'Play with her tits?' Shamus said. 'Why would you do that? This is hardly the time.'

Paddy replied, 'Well, I figure if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive to replace.'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 07 October 2010
  • Currently 4.96/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (25)

Have faith...

A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch wedged in the rock.

"HELP! IS THERE ANYBODY UP THERE?" he shouted.

A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:

"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."

"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.

"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.

There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "IS THERE ANYONE ELSE UP THERE I COULD TALK TO?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 October 2008
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (21)

Why did the blonde t

Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 07 October 2011
  • Currently 5.05/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (20)

Carl was talking to a girl in

Carl was talking to a girl in a New York City bar. He asked, "Can I get you a drink?"
The girl replied, "Certainly."
Carl then asked, "What would you like?"
The girl said, "Champagne."
Carl then asked, "Why Champagne?"
The girl replied, "Because when I drink champagne I imagine I am a goddess on the Nile, draped in a long robe, relaxing peacefully, with servants fanning me and dropping peeled grapes into my mouth."
Curious, Carl asked her, "What if I just buy you a draft beer?"
The girl replied, "I'll cut wet farts all night."
#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 07 October 2017
  • Currently 5.22/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (18)

PREVIOUS DAY
NEXT DAY

Jokes of the day

Daily updated jokes. New jokes every day.
Follow jokes of the day on social networks
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.

Jokes partners

  • Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
  • Daily Brain Teasers - daily collection of brain teasers

Jokes Archive