Jokes of the day for Saturday, 20 October 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 20 October 2018
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (987)

Thoughts To Ponder Thoughts To Ponder
1. Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale?
2. They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants?
3. Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
4. How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning?
5. Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What?
6. Why does the word lisp have an "s" in it?
7. How come you never read the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
8. Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands?
9. There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens?
10. They say laughter is the best medicine - so who came up with the phrase, "I died laughing"?
#joke

Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

Cajun Confession

Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son?"Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time. I'm 'fraid someone will break their leg, so I fix the hole."Priest: "Well, that's not so bad."Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left."Priest: "What did you do with it?"Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never had no place to get outta the weather, so I make him his own little doghouse."Priest: "OK, anything else?"Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left. So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get outta de weather either, so I make her a two car garage."Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand."Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a little lumber left."Priest: "Yes?"Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger house. So I add two bedrooms and a new bathroom."Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance, you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to make a Novena, don't you?"Boudreaux: "No, Father... But, if you got the plans, I got the lumber."
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

“The man working in a

“The man working in a dowel factory has his job pegged.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

 Hahahahahaha

The joke is:























!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.15/10

Rating: 1.2/10 (26)

Baseball bat

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register.

"Cash or charge," the clerk asked.

"Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!"

"Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 26 October 2015
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

One summer evening during a vi...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 29 July 2015
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

Find number abc

If 7bb49 - 2249a = 5c85b find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Viagra/Gore

What's the difference between Viagra and Al Gore.....Viagra

really works !

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 20 October 2009
  • Currently 4.28/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (36)

Weeping Willows are a result o...

Weeping Willows are a result of Chuck Norris yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 20 October 2011
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (28)

Ponderings Collection 34


Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?

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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 20 October 2011
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (24)

True or false?

A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 October 2010
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (23)

Patton Oswalt: Obituary Fear

My other big obituary fear is, when I die, theyll have my picture, and they always have underneath it, in quotes, He loved to laugh. Oh, he loved to laugh. Well, that doesnt tell you anything. Everybody loves to laugh -- youre laughing! Thats like saying, He hungered for food.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 October 2010
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (23)

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