Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 27 November 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 27 November 2018
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“When two orthopedist

“When two orthopedists started a new surgery, it was a joint operation.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Mr.Watt rang the phone at the

Mr.Watt rang the phone at the residence of Mr.Knott.
"Who's calling?" asked Knott.
"Watt."
"What is your name, please?"
"Watt's my name."
"That's what I asked you. What's your name?"
"That's what I told you. Watt's my name."
A long pause, and then from Watt, "Is this James Brown?"
"No, this is Knott."
"Please tell me your name."
"Will Knott."
"Why not?"
"Huh? What do you mean why not?"
"Yeah! Why won't you tell me your name?"
"But I told you my name!"
"Didn't you say you will not?"
"Not not, knott, Will Knott!"
"That's what I mean."
"So you know my name."
"Of course not!"
"Good. So now, what is yours?"
"Watt. Yours?"
"Your name!"
"Watt's my name."
"How the hell do I know? I am asking you!"
"Look I have been very patient and I have told you my name and you have not even told me yours yet."
"You have been patient, what about me?"
"I have told you my name so many times and it is you who have not told me yours yet."
"Of course not!"
"See, you even know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep saying of course Knott?"
"Because I don't."
[Pause]
"What is your name?"
"See, you know my name!"
"Of course not!"
"Then why do you keep asking Watt is your name?"
"To find out your name!"
"But you already know it!"
"What?"
"See, but you know mine!"
"Of course not!"
"Exactly!"
"Listen, listen, wait; if I asked you what your name is, what will be
your answer?"
"Watt's my name."
"No, no, give me only one word."
"Watt"
"Your name!"
"Right!"
[Pause before it hits him]
"Oh, Wright!"
"Yeah!"
"So why didn't you say it before?"
"I told you so many times!"
"You never said Wright before"
"Of course I did."
"Ok I won't argue any more. Do you know my name?"
"I do not."
"Well, there you go, now we know each other's name."
"I do not!"
"Good!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

An old cowboy sat down at the

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.77/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (26)

Little Angel?

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”“He came from heaven, Johnny.”“Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 July 2018
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

Three men...A chicken and a cow...

There were three men traveling together, a priest, a farmer and a lawyer. It was starting to get late and they needed to find a place to sleep. They came across this farm and they asked the farmer there if they could spend the night. He said, "thats fine but my guest room is only big enough for two people, one of you will have to sleep in the barn."

The priest said, "I don't mind sleeping with God's creatures, I will take the barn."

So they all agreed and went to their rooms.

About an hour later there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the priest. "There is a chicken in there that won't stop clucking! I'm sorry but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."

"That's ok," said the farmer, "I'll sleep in the barn, after all, I'm used to it."

So they all agreed and traded places. About an hour later there was a knock at the guest room door and there stood the farmer. "I can't stand the odor from that cow in there any more. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to sleep in the guest room."

"Well, I guess that leaves me," said the lawyer.

So he went to sleep in the barn. About an hour later there is a knock at the guest room door and there stands the chicken and the cow.

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 03 December 2015
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 Lightbulb Joke Collection 53


Q: How many university students does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 31. Ten to vote on whether the light bulb needs changing, whether they should join the Lightbulbs Union first and then what to call the new lightbulb - (the Nelson Mandela lightbulb ?), one to put it in... and twenty to have a pissup after to celebrate a good days work...
Q: How many boarding school students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they have their parents do it for them.

Q: How many off-campus landlords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The students will just wreck it, anyhow, so why bother?
Q: How many Chinese students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twelve: one to screw in the lightbulb, one to sit in the jail, and ten to demonstrate on the streets.
Q: How many engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
Q: How many first year civil engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. That's a second year subject.
Q: How many laboratory heads (senior researchers, etc.) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five; one to change the lightbulb, the other four to stand around arguing whether he/she is taking the right approach.
Q: How many research technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but it'll probably take him/her three or four tries to get it right.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 August 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Find number abc

If cbca3 - a7373 = 38ab0 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A woman goes into Wal-Mart...

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound Of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the stink bait is$2.50."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 November 2009
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Rating: 4.8/10 (51)

The Sharkeisha super falcon pu...

The Sharkeisha super falcon punch is as close as anyone has ever gotten to the force of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 27 November 2013
  • Currently 2.53/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (34)

Adam Ferrara: Love This Girl

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 November 2011
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Rating: 5.6/10 (25)

A doctor and a lawyer were att...

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, 'I never know how to handle the situation when I'm asked for medical advice during a social function. Is it acceptable to send a bill for such advice?'

The lawyer replied that it was certainly acceptable to do so.

The next day, the doctor sent the ulcer-stricken man a bill. The lawyer also sent one to the doctor.
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 November 2011
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To Do List

When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.

I promptly added: “Send Michelle money every month.”

A few days later my brother wrote: “Make payments on car for Jason.”

Then my boyfriend joined in with: “Buy Tom a Jeep.”

Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: “Wean kids.”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 November 2011
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