Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Thursday, 21 March 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 21 March 2019

“My favorite garden s

“My favorite garden store is having a sale on potting soil. It is now dirt cheap.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Feeding Birdseed

Julia's mother asked her, "Why are you feeding birdseed to the cat?"
"Because," Julia answered, "that's where my canary is."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (17)

SLIDESHOW #79 - Funny Photo Slideshow

My grandfather once told m

My grandfather once told me my generation relied too much on technology, I screamed to him that his dos and unplugged his life support

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (12)

 Question And Answer


An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.


The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement.


Contagion: A strory demostrating the possible outcomes from interlinkages in the financial markets.


Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.


Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!


Q: What's the difference between mathematics and economics?
A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn't make any sense.


An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.


Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.


Q: What's the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity cost


The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.


The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.


An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. - Laurence J. Peter


A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen


I don't think you can spend yourself rich. - George Humphrey


If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. - George Bernard Shaw


An economist is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.


Tariff -- A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.


Economists are people who are too smart for their own good and not smart enough for anyone else's.


Economy -- Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.


An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel it's your fault.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 24 January 2018
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

I was sitting in the waiting r...

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dds diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, i remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that i had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended northmont high school.
'Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a thunderbolt,' he gleamed with pride.
When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered, 'in 1975. Why do you ask?'
You were in my class!', I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked, 'what did you teach?'
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 08 December 2016
  • Currently 8.79/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (19)

The bookie slowly counted out...

The bookie slowly counted out the money into the old lady's wrinkled hands.
"Lady," he said, "I just don't understand. However did you manage to pick the winner?"
The old lady patted her white locks in place. She looked a little bewildered. "Really," she said, "I don't know myself. I just stick a pin in the paper and, well, there it is."
The bookie took a deep breath. "That's all very well, lady," he cried. "But how on earth did you manage to pick four winners yesterday afternoon?"
"Oh," replied the old lady, "that was easy. I used a fork."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 31 October 2016
  • Currently 6.89/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (19)

Girls Night Out

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautif ul view of the ocean.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 26 March 2016
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

The Husband Store – Still True

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor , where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifth & sixth floors have never been visited.

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 21 March 2017
  • Currently 9.12/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (98)

Mike Birbiglia: Sex and Pizza

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When its good, its good. When its bad, you get it on your shirt.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 21 March 2010
  • Currently 2.96/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (45)

Little Angel?

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”
“He came from heaven, Johnny.”
“Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 21 March 2009
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (42)

Daniel Tosh: Millionaire Game Show

Id like a game show with millionaires on it, and they have to play with their own money, and they cant win money, they can only lose til one them goes complete broke, and the shows called Ha Ha, Now Youre Poor.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 21 March 2012
  • Currently 2.81/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (42)

Kyle Kinane: This Is America

This is America. It is my God given right to be loudly opinionated about something I am completely ignorant of.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 21 March 2011
  • Currently 5.93/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (41)

She doesn’t trust easily

She doesn’t trust easily- you can see that in the distance creates between herself and around her, but she has much love to offer, and you can see it in the kindness that’s in the smiles she gives out to everyone around her. She has millions of chaotic galaxies of thoughts, thousands of tangled up worlds of words and places in her mind, and you can see it in the way her eyes always seem lost, like they are somewhere else. She always wants to be somewhere else, it shows in the way she’s always rushing and moving, the way she’s always restless. Life never went easy on her, and she didn’t go easy on herself either. She is strong and you can see it in her eyes, you can sense it in her voice. She believes that her body can physically rebuild and heal itself. I think that’s because she knew how to recover by herself after life had broken her. She knows how it’s like to be under-appreciated. So if you can’t see the beauty in her quirks, if you don’t think that maybe she might be a little piece of magic, don’t you dare and say that she is just a girl; because she’s a . ~ Author Unknown
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 March 2016
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Dead Lawyer

A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but he died last week."
The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you, your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 04 February 2014
  • Currently 7.08/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (13)

How to Produce Ugly Children

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A: Ask your Mom.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 12 July 2011
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (48)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.