Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 14 May 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 14 May 2019
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (2484)

“The divorcing Britis

“The divorcing British couple was required to divide the packets Earl Grey upon the court's ruling that it was proper tea.”

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Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (12)

Perspective

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.
"What seems to be the problem, madam?"
"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

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Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.40/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (20)

Henry's son, David, burst int

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.
"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away."
"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off."
"But that's just what I did, mommy."
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Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.72/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (18)

A group of friends who went de

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated intopairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering undera hugh buck.
"Where's Harry?", asked another hunter.
"He fainted a couple miles up the trail,"
Harry's partner answered. "You left him lying there alone and carriedthe deer back?"
"It was a tough decision," said the hunter. "But I figuredno one is going to steal Harry."
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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 June 2016
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (16)

 Answering Machine Message 239


Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I'll get back... (Sniff, sniff...) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good.

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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 September 2015
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (12)

Jeff Dunham: Coffee as a Sex-Enhancer?

Walter: My wife and I heard that coffee is good for your sex life. Jeff Dunham: Oh, and is it? Walter: No. It kept me awake for the whole damn thing. I actually had to participate!
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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 14 May 2010
  • Currently 4.94/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (36)

What hides this stereogram?

Stereogram - 3D Image
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

God Takes a Vacation

"Hmmm," St. Peter reflected. "Well, how about Mercury?"
"No way!" God muttered. "It's way too hot for me there!"
"I've got it," St. Peter said, his face lighting up. "How about going down to Earth for your vacation?"
Chuckling, God remarked, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"

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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 14 May 2010
  • Currently 6.46/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (35)

Jeff Dunham: How Women Age

Jeff Dunham: Walter, your wife is a lovely woman.
Walter: Shes getting old.
Jeff Dunham: Well, you know, they say that women age like fine wine.
Walter: Shes aging like milk.
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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 14 May 2010
  • Currently 4.09/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (33)

As the plane was flying low ov...

As the plane was flying low over some hills near Athens, a lady asked the stewardess: "What's that stuff on those hills?"


"Just snow," replied the stewardess.


"That's what I thought," said the lady, "but this fellow in front of me said it was Greece."

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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 May 2014
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (31)

How Fast Was I Going?


"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

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Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 14 May 2011
  • Currently 5.04/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (27)

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