Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 21 May 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 21 May 2019
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (2608)

“I tried to take out

“I tried to take out the trash but I think it was a complete waste of time.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (14)

A restaurant was packed with p

A restaurant was packed with people watching a televised ball game. Two diners gave the harried waitress their order, then waited a long time without getting food.
Hearing the sound of cheers from the bar area, one diner joked, "It sounds like someone got served!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.87/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (15)

AMAP For Salary

The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I see you have put 'ASAP' down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you've put 'AMAP' down for required salary. I don't believe I've ever seen that before, what does it mean?"
The applicant replied, "As much as possible!"

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

When a woman wears leather clo

When a woman wears leather clothing
A man's heart beats quicker
His throat gets dry
He goes week in the knees
And he begins to think irrationally
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck!!!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

 Knock Knock Collection 165


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sinatra!
Sinatra who?
Sinatra be a law!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sinbad!
Sinbad who?
Sinbad and you'll never get to heaven!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sizzle!
Sizzle who?
Sizzle hurt me more than it will hurt you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Soda!
Soda who?
Soda you!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Sofia!
Sofia who?
Sofia me, I'm hungry!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 30 June 2015
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (13)

According to Einstein's theory...

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 21 May 2011
  • Currently 4.37/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (41)

Chess Knight Move

Find the country and its capital city, using the move of a chess knight. First letter is A. Length of words in solution: 11,5.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Give Bubba a Chance

It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and won't be able to graduate tonight."

Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Cox's football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn't going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, "Give Bubba another chance, give Bubba another chance!"

Pat Dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give Bubba another chance. Bubba is told that he will be given a "One Question" math test and if he passes, he can graduate.

The question is, "What is 2 plus 3?" Bubba thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, "I have it! The answer is 5!"

There is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire Cox High School football team jumps up and begins to chant, "Give Bubba one more chance. Give Bubba one more Chance!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 21 May 2011
  • Currently 4.16/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (37)

Ben Bailey: Restless Leg Syndrome

Restless leg syndrome. Cmon, what kind of horseshit is that? Its a syndrome? Restless leg syndrome? I have no idea what constitutes a syndrome, but its a hell of a lot more serious than some freakin wiggly legs.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 21 May 2011
  • Currently 4.06/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (33)

The Cat and the Saus

One day a little cat was walking through the park when he came across a pond. He peered into the pond and noticed that at the bottom of the pond there was a little cocktail sausage.

The cat was feeling quite happy so as the water wasn't that deep he reached in with his little paw, hooked the sausage out and ate it.

The next day the cat was walking through the park again and peered into the pond. There was another sausage in the pond but this time it was a normal sized one, so the cat reached in. This time he had to put his whole arm into the pond. The cat hooked the sausage out and ate it.

The next day things go basically the same and the cat again looks into the pond. There he found an enormous Cumberland sausage at the bottom for the pond. It looked so delicious but it was so deep that he had to really stretch to get it, then SPLASH - he fell in.

The moral of the story is: The Bigger the Sausage, The Wetter the Pussy!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 21 May 2012
  • Currently 3.45/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (33)

First day at school

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 21 May 2017
  • Currently 8.59/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (29)

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