Jokes of the day for Sunday, 23 June 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 23 June 2019
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1467)

Lee wasn't the brightest guy

Lee wasn't the brightest guy in the world, and his co-workers were continually ribbing him on the job. One in particular, Rick, would greet him each morning and precipitate this exchange:
"Say Lee, you seen Ben?"
"Ben who?"
"Ben' down and kiss my a$$!"
Tired of falling for the same joke day after day, Lee confided in his friend Susie who said, "Listen, next time you see Rick, ask him if he's seen Eileen. Rick will ask, 'Eileen who?', and you say, 'I lean over and you kiss MY a$$.'"
Memorising his lines, Lee went to work early to wait for Rick. As soon as he arrived, Lee ran over to him.
"Hey Rick," he said, "have you seen Eileen?"
"No," Rick answered, "she ran off with Ben."
Lee frowned, "Ben who?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.35/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (20)

Worth Of A Gas Cap

A man walked up to the counter of an auto-part store. "Excuse me," he said, "I'd like to get a new gas cap for my Yugo."
"Sure," the clerk replied. "Sounds like a fair exchange to me."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

Scope of things

“When the hunter considered the scope of things he realized his life wasn't all that bad. He would just need to aim for higher things.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.94/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (16)

 School Collection 03


When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!

Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!

A history joke
How did Vikings communicate?

By norse code!

A math joke
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
A history joke
What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!


#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 03 February 2018
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

50/50

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc, until each had exactly half.

Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, but his wife just sat watching him.

The young man felt sorry for them and asked "I'm sorry to intrude, but would you allow me to purchase another meal for your wife so that you don't have to split your food?"

The old gentleman said, "Oh, no, thank you. But you see, we've been married a long time, and everything has always been shared, 50/50."

The young man said, "Wow! That's commendable." He then turned to the wife and asked, "Aren't you going to eat your share?"

The wife replied "Not yet. It's his turn to use the teeth."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 June 2016
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEAR

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT ... BEEN OUT AWHILE .. BETTERBE A REWARD.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED ... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &DONUTS.
FOR SALE: ONE MAN SIX WOMAN HOT TUB
(AND THE BEST ONE) . .
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - no longerneeded. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 19 March 2015
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Some Things You Just Cant Explain

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting hammered.
A man came in and asked the farmer, 'Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?'
The farmer shook his head and replied, 'Some things you just can't explain.'
'So what happened that's so horrible?' the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
'Well,' the farmer said, 'today I was sitting by my cow, milking her.
Just as I got the bucket 'bout full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket.'
'Okay,' said the man, 'but that's not so bad.' 'Some things you just can't explain,' the farmer replied.
'So what happened then?' the man asked. The farmer said, 'I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.'
'And then?' 'Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her.
Just as I got the bucket 'bout full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.'
Man laughed and said, 'Again?' The farmer replied, 'Some things you just can't explain.'
'So, what did you do then?' the man asked. 'I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.'
'And then?' 'Well, I sat back down and began milking her again.
Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.'
'Hmmm . . . ' the man said and nodded his head. 'Some things you just can't explain,' the farmer said.
'So, what did you do?' the man asked.
'Well,' the farmer said, 'I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in . . . Some things you just can't explain.'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 23 June 2017
  • Currently 8.79/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (56)

Gabriel Iglesias: The Only Big Friend Argument

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments -- except one. And that is, who is the biggest? Ill let you know right now, theres only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster -- whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 23 June 2010
  • Currently 4.13/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (52)

If Chuck Norris gave a mouse a...

If Chuck Norris gave a mouse a cookie, it would probably ask for some milk. Then Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick that ungrateful little rodent so hard, it would lose it's appetite for cookies. Permanently.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 June 2011
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (50)

Nuts

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a buck-fifty and deer nuts are under a buck.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 23 June 2010
  • Currently 5.73/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (41)

Toothbrush

Where was the toothbrush invented?

Mississippi.

If it would've been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 June 2011
  • Currently 4.92/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (37)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.