Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 28 January 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 28 January 2020

“Great batsmen in cri

“Great batsmen in cricket score centuries by their will-ow power?”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

Farmer's Daughter

How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?
A tractor.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (12)

SLIDESHOW #26 - Funny Photo Slideshow

An old man, a boy, and a donke

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were travelling. The boy rode the donkey while the man walked.
In the first town they went to, the people all said; "How hard for that old man who has to walk!"
The two travelers heard this and decided that the boy should walk and the old man should ride.
In the next town, people whispered, "What a shame, he makes the little boy walk!"
So the pair decided that they should both ride.
In the third town, people all muttered about how cruel it was to make the donkey work so hard.
So the boy and the old man decided to carry the donkey.
On the way to the next town, they had to go across a bridge. As they walked across it, they slipped and the donkey fell in to the river and drowned.
The moral of the story is - If you try to please everyone, you will eventually end up losing your ass.
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (14)

Invisible

A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."

The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 02 February 2017
  • Currently 8.05/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (44)

 Signs And Notices 03


These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 March 2016
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

I'm scariest when nude.

I'm scariest when nude. I'm a grisly bare.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 August 2015
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

One summer evening during a vi...

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 29 July 2015
  • Currently 8.22/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (18)

A man walks into a restaurant...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.
The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.
"The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, "That will be $12.62."Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
"Excuse me, sir.How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!"says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
#joke #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 28 January 2015
  • Currently 8.78/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (93)

A kindergarten student was hav...

A kindergarten student was having trouble putting on his boots, and asked his teacher for help. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. Finally they got both boots on. She grimaced when the little boy said, "They're on the wrong feet."
Sure enough, they were. The teacher kept her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the correct feet. The little boy then announced, "These aren't my boots." The teacher sighed and pulled the boots off.
The boy then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."
The teacher felt like crying, but she mustered up the strength to wrestle the boots back onto his feet. "Now," she said, "where are your mittens?"
The boy replied, "I stuffed them in my boots...."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 28 January 2015
  • Currently 8.38/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (42)

Plaster of Parish

A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000."
Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder.
He promptly stood back up and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000."
Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."He sat down, and a larger chunk of plaster fell on his head.
He stood up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!"
This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 28 January 2009
  • Currently 5.48/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (40)

Paper-Eating Dog

A minister delivered a sermon in 10 minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning."After the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the preacher and said, "Reverend, if that dog of yours has any pups, I want to give one to my minister."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 28 January 2012
  • Currently 7.08/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (39)

My prayers are answered...

A grandmother who took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy out to sea. She fell down on her knees and pleaded to the heavens, "Please return my grandson, that's all I ask! PLEASE!!!"

A moment later, lo and behold, a wave swelled from the ocean and deposited the wet, yet unhurt child, at her feet. She checked him over to make sure that he was okay. He was fine. But still she looked up to the heavens angrily and said, "When we came he had a hat!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 28 January 2017
  • Currently 4.55/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (29)

What Gear Were You In?

Policeman to Blonde: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

Blonde: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

#joke #short #blonde #policeman
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 12 September 2015
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

Three drunks hailed a taxi...

Three drunks hailed a taxi. The taxi driver seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized the car didn't move an inch. So what was that for, he asked. Control your speed next time, you almost killed us.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 June 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

The Baloonist

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am..'
The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.
'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'
'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.'
The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my f**king fault.'

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 11 July 2012
  • Currently 6.04/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (45)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.