Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 06 May 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 06 May 2020
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

A couple go for a meal at a Ch...

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order Chicken Surprise. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
"Ahh so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.72/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (18)

“As I think you know,

“As I think you know, Pi is an irrational number. So far, all efforts to calm it down have failed.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

She Cooked Dinner

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

 You Might Be A Redneck If 39


You might be a redneck if...
One of the options on your truck is a spitoon.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this."
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
#joke #
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

People who live in glass house

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.
Never read the fine print.There ain't no way you're going to like it.
If you let a smile be your umbrella,then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.
The only two things we do with greater frequencyin middle age are urinate and attend funerals.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybodyhas the same size bucket.
To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.
Do you realize that in about 40 years,we'll have thousands of old ladiesrunning around with tattoos?
Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortableto cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.
Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.
Living in a n*dist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint,you are probably dead.
#joke #halloween
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 January 2019
  • Currently 2.94/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (16)

Any questions?

Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while.

"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.

"Yes," replies her daughter.

"Do you still have any questions?"

"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"

"In exactly the same way as with babies."

"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 19 May 2017
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

Find number abc

If ab5b9 + 5b0b2 = 10cc71 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Miss Maddox loved collecting c

Miss Maddox loved collecting coins. How do I know? Because I numismatics.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 September 2015
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Morality

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 May 2011
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (42)

A Blonde goes over to her fri

A Blonde goes over to her friend's houseWearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt.
'Why are you wearing a Thank GodIt's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?'
'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn'tRealize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant Tits Go In Front'
#joke #blonde #friday #monday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 06 May 2018
  • Currently 5.73/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (37)

Team Spirit

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach.
"Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 May 2013
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (31)

A couple pulled into the drive...

A couple pulled into the driveway after their first date. The guy leans over and gives the girl a long, slow kiss. While he's kissing her, he quietly unzips his pants, takes her hand, and puts it on his penis.

When she realizes what it is, she screams, jumps out of the car, and yells back at him as she starts closing the car door, "I've got just two words for you, Drop Dead!!"

"And I've got two words for you too," the guy shrieks, "LET GO!!!!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 May 2010
  • Currently 5.16/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (31)

There are no races, only count...

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 May 2011
  • Currently 2.61/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (31)

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