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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 27 June 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 27 June 2020

Gaugin often

Gaugin often repeated himself.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Mother Called

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Colleen has been very difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I know you warned me. I remember you told me that she was evil and would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. I should have listened to you. You want to speak with her? All right."
He looks up from the phone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Colleen, your mother wants to talk to you!"

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

SLIDESHOW #99 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“If a single statisti

“If a single statistician meets another single statistician does she datum or does he data?”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.57/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (14)

Please stand up

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

"Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.

The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 July 2017
  • Currently 8.95/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (125)

Eat The Watermelons

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 November 2015
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

Bubba applied for an engineeri...

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the job!"
The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed."
Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
The manager replied: "Bubba, its like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down; "I don't know." You put down, "Neither do I."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 04 November 2015
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

A couple were indulged in sexu

A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise.
Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?"
"Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 July 2015
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Sinking boat

There's a boat sinking out at sea with men, women and children on it, along with a minister, a rabbi, and a priest.

The minister said, "Oh my god, will somebody think of the children."

The rabbi said, "fuck the children."

The priest said, "Do we have time?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 June 2010
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (78)

Nagasaki never had a bomb drop...

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 June 2011
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (64)

Cake

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by up to 90%.

It's called wedding cake.

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 June 2011
  • Currently 4.98/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (52)

Jim Gaffigan: Easier for Attractive People

Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and theyre attractive, you think, Oh, theyre nice, but if a strangers ugly, youre like, What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 27 June 2011
  • Currently 4.05/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (42)

Jon Reep: Southern Accents

People think youre an idiot. I dont know where they get that idea. But when they hear my accent for the first time, I can tell theyre looking at me and theyre just waiting for me to say something like, What are shoes for?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 27 June 2010
  • Currently 4.23/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (40)

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey José.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 11 January 2017
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

A man placed some flowers o...

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 03 November 2009
  • Currently 6.32/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (65)

Jo Koy: My Inspiration

A lot of people are wearing t-shirts with pictures of people that inspire them to do stuff. I wear a picture of my son cause no one inspires me to work harder than my son. Its also a constant reminder to wear a condom.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 November 2011
  • Currently 4.15/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (47)

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