Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Sunday, 28 June 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 28 June 2020

Full garbage cans are a terror

Full garbage cans are a terrorist threat, aka Bin Laden.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

A couple return from their hon

A couple return from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other.
The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.
"Well," replied the man, "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, I shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend, "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over it though, she gave me $20 change."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

SLIDESHOW #93 - Funny Photo Slideshow

 You Are In California


You Know You're In California When...

  1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
  2. You were born somewhere else.
  3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
  4. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
  5. Your car has bulletproof windows.
  6. Left is right and right is wrong.
  7. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
  8. Your mouse has only one ball.
  9. You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up.
  10. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
  11. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
  12. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
  13. Your family tree contains 'significant others'.
  14. Your cat has it's own psychiatrist.
  15. You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
  16. You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
  17. More than clothes come out of the closets.
  18. When 'the Dead' are best live.
  19. You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
  20. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
  21. More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.
  22. Smoking in your office is not optional.
  23. When you can't schedule a meeting because you must 'do lunch'.
  24. Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
  25. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
  26. You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.
  27. You consult your horoscope before planning your day.
  28. A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.
  29. When all highways into the state say: 'no fruits'.
  30. All highways out of the state say: 'Go back'.
  31. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.


#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Dad, You Are My Hero

Son: Dad, You are my hero.
Dad: Really?
Son: Yes. Can you give me an autograph with your eyes closed?
Dad: Well, yes, of course.
Son: That's great! Then here, close your eyes and sign my report card.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“If a single statisti

“If a single statistician meets another single statistician does she datum or does he data?”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.57/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (14)

Auctions and golf...

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.

The other night, as they slept, the golfer yelled, "Fore!"

His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter !"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 11 July 2017
  • Currently 4.64/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (11)

Bubba applied for an engineeri...

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Yankee the job."Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana, and me being a Southern boy, I should get the job!"
The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed."
Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
The manager replied: "Bubba, its like this. On question #4 the Yankee put down; "I don't know." You put down, "Neither do I."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 04 November 2015
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

50/50

A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc, until each had exactly half.

Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, but his wife just sat watching him.

The young man felt sorry for them and asked "I'm sorry to intrude, but would you allow me to purchase another meal for your wife so that you don't have to split your food?"

The old gentleman said, "Oh, no, thank you. But you see, we've been married a long time, and everything has always been shared, 50/50."

The young man said, "Wow! That's commendable." He then turned to the wife and asked, "Aren't you going to eat your share?"

The wife replied "Not yet. It's his turn to use the teeth."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 June 2016
  • Currently 8.15/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (27)

An elderly couple was attendin...

An elderly couple was attending church services.
About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband, "I just silentlypassed gas - what do you think I should do?"
He replied, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 June 2016
  • Currently 8.42/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (26)

“We're having a Japa

“We're having a Japanese-themed dinner party. Wanna kimono?”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 28 June 2019
  • Currently 2.35/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (23)

Definitions....

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 June 2015
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (16)

A 90-year-old man said to his...

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have anelderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he wasgoing out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella insteadof his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside thestream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead.What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 October 2017
  • Currently 8.74/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (54)

Porcupine Love

Q: What do porcupines say after they kiss?

A: "Ouch."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 24 November 2014
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

I don't want any publicity

"I don't want any publicity – you get too many begging letters. If they're anything like the ones I send out I don't want to know!"

Tony Hancock (1924-1968)

Picture: Rex Features

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 30 December 2014
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Farting Competition

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, seven to nothing."
A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
The man lays there for about ten minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard that he shits all over the bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Half time. Switch sides."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 November 2013
  • Currently 3.30/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (10)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.