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Jokes of the day for Sunday, 04 October 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 04 October 2020

Ever since the economy crumble

Ever since the economy crumbled I've not only lost my house, but my cutlery too. I've been fork losed!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.44/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (9)

In Kent a business man was con

In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.36/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (14)

SLIDESHOW #16 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Quick Believer

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air, then opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

The new employee stood before

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.
"Need some help?" a secretary asked.
"Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?"
"Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.
"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 November 2019
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Daddy's password...

While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it? her older sisters asked, eagerly.

Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 October 2017
  • Currently 3.58/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (12)

Diagnosis Explained

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal.
The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 04 October 2017
  • Currently 8.72/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (67)

Two guys were riding in a car,...

Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville." They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant. The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly." The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 October 2010
  • Currently 6.49/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (45)

Exchange

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?

Exchange him.

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Yisman

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 04 October 2011
  • Currently 3.39/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (36)

Preventive medicine belief

Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

Doctor: Oh, really?

Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 October 2010
  • Currently 4.63/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (30)

Patient: Doctor, I have a litt

Patient: Doctor, I have a little man in my head, and he's cursing all the time!
Doctor: Well, this problem is really easy to fix! It will cost you $1000.
Patient: Doctor, do you know what the little guy just said?
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 04 October 2016
  • Currently 5.64/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (28)

I don't know if I j...

“I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 June 2017
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (11)

Miracle mile

A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 08 June 2015
  • Currently 8.77/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (26)

The trick

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 08 March 2016
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Don't try this at home

They say don't try this at home… So i'm going to go to my friends house and try it
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 July 2015
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Professional Worrier

David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier.
After he'd been working with the specialist for a few months, David's friend John noticed a change. "What happened?" John asked. "You don't worry about anything anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier!" David answered.
"That must cost a fortune," John said.
"Yes, he charges $3,000 a month," David said sheepishly.
"Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?" John exclaimed.
"I don't know," David said. "That's his problem."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.27/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (15)

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