Jokes of the day for Friday, 16 October 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 16 October 2020
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Happy Halloween, check out our latest Halloween jokes on: Halloween jokes collection

A drunk man got on to a bus la

A drunk man got on to a bus late one night, staggered up the aisle, and slumped down next to an elderly woman.
She looked the man sternly and said, "I've got news for you young man - you're going straight to hell!"
The drunk man jumped up and screamed, "Oh bugger, I'm on the wrong bus!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Help Me, Dad

Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"
Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."
"That's okay," replied Little Johnny. "You could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

I can't run fast in the

I can't run fast in the slush; I'm sleet of foot.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 31 December 2015
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Wisdom...

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 04 November 2014
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (20)

Two Men Camping


Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.
At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.
Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!".
The other replied, "No, it's not!".
The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.
To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by it's clover."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 October 2010
  • Currently 3.24/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (38)

Nun on the scale

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down, waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and put her nickel in and out came a card that said, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs., and you are going to Chicago, Illinois."

She sat back down and thought about it. She told herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She put her nickel in, and out came a card that read, "You're a nun. You weigh 128 lbs. You're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong. I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life." She sat back down. From out of nowhere, a cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and started playing beautiful music.

Startled, she look back at the machine and said, "This is incredible! I've got to try it again!

Back to the machine she went, put her nickel in, and another card came out. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you're going to break wind."

Now, the nun knew the machine was wrong. "I've never broken wind in public in my whole life!" Just then, she tripped, fell off the scales and broke wind.

Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it one more time."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you have fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago!!!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 October 2017
  • Currently 8.06/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (35)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

When Arnold says "I'll be back...

When Arnold says "I'll be back" in the Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 October 2011
  • Currently 4.28/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (32)

The Dentist

The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man's tooth. 'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me! The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. 'No objection,' the patient says. 'I'm fine with pills.'
The dentist then returns and says, Here's a Viagra tablet.'
The patient says, 'Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!'
It doesn't' said the dentist, 'but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 October 2010
  • Currently 7.26/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (31)

Mike Vecchione: Gun Is Like a Penis

Having a gun, lets face it guys, is a lot like having a penis, I think. You got to keep it concealed. And if you wave it in a womans face, chances are shell call the cops.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 October 2011
  • Currently 3.64/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (28)

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