Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Saturday, 17 October 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 17 October 2020

The man who broke up with his

The man who broke up with his longtime girlfriend went on a consolational fruit-eating binge. When asked how he was handling it, the fellow merely raised a half-eaten piece of produce. “Can't you see,” he said, “I am in the depths of this pear.“
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

A man and his girlfriend are h

A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter.
He asks her to "go downtown", so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business.
After about five minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved voice, "Well, just what are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no money -- just looking."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

SLIDESHOW #61 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Soup for Dinner?

Tonight I’m gonna have possum soup made from Himalayan possum...
Because I found Himalayan on the road.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

One day, Jimmy Jones was walki...

One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
Bubba, where'd you git that truck?!?"
Tammie give it to me" Bubba replied.
"She give it to ya?
I know'd she wuz kinda sweet on ya, but a New truck?"
"Well, Jimmy Jones, let me tell you what happened.
We wuz drivin' out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowheres.Tammie pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,'Bubba, take whatever you want.' So I took the truck! "
"Bubba, yore a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 May 2015
  • Currently 8.85/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (20)

What's with the nuts?

A guy goes into a bar. He's sitting on the stool, enjoying his drink when he hears, "You look great!" He looks around - there's nobody near him. He hears the voice again, "No really, you look terrific."

The guy looks around again. Nobody. He hears, "Is that a new shirt or something? Because you are absolutely glowing!" He then realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar.

"Hey," the guy calls to the bartender, "What's with the nuts?"

"Oh," the bartender answers, "They're complimentary."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 05 November 2014
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (15)

Chuck Norris threw a grenade a...

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it blew up.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 October 2013
  • Currently 5.79/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (70)

The Butt Biter

A few years ago when my girlfriend still lived with her parents, I managed to pull a real lu-lu. I came out of the bathroom at the end of the hall in her parents' home and as I walked past my girlfriend's bedroom I saw her making the bed.

She was kneeling on the bed facing away from me, trying to tuck the sheets under the far side of the mattress. Of course this meant her luscious behind was sticking up and waving invitingly in the air. Well, there's few things I like more than gently sinking my teeth into a girl's nice behind, a habit which my girlfriend had already become familiar with.

So naturally I snuk up behind her behind and bit her butt. Imagine my horror when her mother's incredulous face turns around and looks back at me! She didn't know what the hell I was up to!

Of course I could've died of embarrassment at that moment. I stuttered a few words saying how I thought it was her daughter's butt (I don't think that would necessarily go over too well either!), apologized and got out of there.

The next thing I did was march downstairs and immediately tell her husband what had just happened – I'd much rather he heard it from me than her! Of course he laughed his head off and they all still tease me about it to this day.

And I later found out that my middle-aged mother-in-law was actually kind of thrilled to have someone mistake her butt for that of a 25-year-old.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 17 October 2011
  • Currently 4.49/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (53)

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie ...

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 17 October 2011
  • Currently 2.70/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (50)

Three old men

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.

One 75-year-old man says: "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at 7 a.m. and it takes me 20 minutes to pee."

An 80-year-old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at 8 a.m. and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The 90-year-old man says: "Not me. At 7 a.m. I pee like a horse and at 8 a.m. I crap like a cow."

"So what's your problem?" asked the others.

"I don't wake up until 9:00."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 October 2013
  • Currently 6.45/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (40)

Brother -in-law

A man suffered a heart attack and had by-pass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him how he was going to pay the bill.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked if he has money in the bank.

He replied "No money in the bank."

The nun asked " Do you have a relative who could help you?"

He said "Just a spinster sister who is a nun."

The nun, slightly preturbed, said "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied, "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law!"

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 17 October 2011
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (31)

On July 20, 1969, As Commander...

On July 20, 1969, As Commander Of The Apollo 11 Lunar Module, NeilArmstrong Was The First Person To Set Foot On The Moon.
His First Words After Stepping On The Moon, "that's One Small Step ForMan, One Giant Leap For Mankind," Were Televised To Earth And Heard ByMillions.
But Just Before He Reentered The Lander, He Made The Enigmatic Remark"good Luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many People At Nasa Though It Was A Casual Remark Concerning Some RivalSoviet Cosmonaut.
However, Upon Checking, There Was No Gorsky In Either The Russian OrAmerican Space Programs.
Over The Years Many People Questioned Armstrong As To What The "goodLuck, Mr. Gorsky... Statement Meant, But Armstrong Always Just Smiled.
On July 5, 1995, In Tampa Bay , Florida , While Answering QuestionsFollowing A Speech, A Reporter Brought Up The 26-year-old Question ToArmstrong. This Time He Finally Responded.
Mr. Gorsky Had Died, So Neil Armstrong Felt He Could Answer The Question.
In 1938 When He Was A Kid In A Small Mid-west Town , He Was PlayingBaseball With A Friend In The Backyard.
His Friend Hit The Ball, Which Landed In His Neighbor's Yard By TheBedroom Windows.
His Neighbors Were Mr. And Mrs. Gorsky.
As He Leaned Down To Pick Up The Ball, Young Armstrong Heard Mrs. GorskyShouting At Mr. Gorsky.
"Sex! You Want Sex?! You'll Get Sex When The Kid Next Door Walks On TheMoon!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 19 November 2016
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Get A Heart Transplant

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 August 2018
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Bastille Day Joke

14 July is Bastille Day! Have fun with this very Bastille Day joke!

It's the time of the French Revolution and they’re doing their usual daily beheadings.
Today they’re leading a priest, a prostitute, and an engineer up to the guillotine.
They ask the priest if he wants to be face up or face down when he meets his fate.
The priest says that he would like to be face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Being devoutly religious, they Take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
Next, the prostitute comes to the guillotine. She also decides to die face up hoping that she will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, and release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from her neck. So they release the prostitute as well.
The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They raise the blade of the guillotine and suddenly the engineer cries out:
"Hey, I see what your problem is!"

#joke
  • Currently 9.50/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (10)

Not Talking To Me

Me to the postman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte.
Postman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope?
Me: We had an argument, and she's not talking to me..

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 27 May 2020
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (16)

A Moral Question

One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?"
The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 December 2010
  • Currently 5.73/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (37)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.