Jokes of the day for Friday, 20 November 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 20 November 2020
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

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In fairy tale-land, if you cro

In fairy tale-land, if you cross a bridge, you have to pay the troll.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Dangerous Exercising

I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it.
My skin got flushed and my heart raced, I got sweaty and short of breath...
It's too dangerous.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

In a murder trial, the defense...

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you werent sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The mans brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess its possible he could be out there practicing lawsomewhere.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 April 2020
  • Currently 8.12/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (17)

As the crowded elevator descen

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 24 February 2017
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (16)

Your dogs IQ

A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dogs IQ. Heres how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 December 2014
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

There was a beautiful young bl...

There was a beautiful young blonde at a soda machine in Vegas, and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst.
She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke. She placed it on a counter next to the machine.
Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. She placed them both on the counter next to the Diet Coke.
As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man, who'd been waiting patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up. "Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?"
She looked at him and indignantly asked, "Well Duh! Can't you see I'm still winning?"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 November 2009
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (46)

Decrypt hidden message

Can you decrypt hidden message (123 45678 9+7 *75-% 123 $6L3% #61 123 5L^ 9+7 *75-% 123 3&A3P1I57%)?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Let's pretend

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.

In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, " I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's make pretend that we're married."

The man says happily, "OK!" AWESOME!"

The woman says, "GOOD ....get your own darn blanket!!!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 November 2016
  • Currently 8.68/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (38)

At the Sunday morning church s...

At the Sunday morning church service, the minister asked if anyone in thecongregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise.
Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and hisscrotum was completely crushed. The pain was terrible and the doctorsdidn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from all the men in the congregation as theyimagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and everymovement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed avery delicate operation, which lasted for over five hours, and it turnedout they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum,and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortablyas they imagined the horrible surgery that was performed on Tom.
"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, after sixweeks, Tom is now out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time,his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with relief.
The minister rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something tosay. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom."
The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife thatthe word is sternum."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 20 November 2018
  • Currently 8.65/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (37)

Old Ladies and the Flasher

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his trench coat right in front of them.
The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady can't reach that far.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 20 November 2012
  • Currently 4.69/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (36)

Chuck Norris played Russian Ro...

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 20 November 2011
  • Currently 3.30/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (33)

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