Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 13 January 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 13 January 2021
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

They Were Everywhere

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist...
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

More snow

It was a disastrous year for the farmers. The snow fell and fell until the government relief agency had to step in and lend a hand.
"It must have been terrible," said the government man to a farmer. "All that snow."
"Could have been worse," calmly answered the farmer. "My neighbor had more snow than me."
"How's that?" asked the government man.
"More land," replied the farmer.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 02 July 2020
  • Currently 5.72/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (18)

The boss ordered one of his me...

The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered.
The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving amound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem.
The boss snorted. "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 27 May 2015
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Good news...bad news....

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The patient said, "Give me the good news."

The doctor says, "They're going to name a disease after you."

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 February 2015
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Chuck Norris' belly button is ...

Chuck Norris' belly button is actually a power outlet.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 13 January 2012
  • Currently 3.39/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (31)

A young Southern boy goes off...

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the waythrough the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money hisparents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won'tbelieve the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,they actually have a program here at college that will teach our dog OleBlue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him inthat program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get himinto the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.
About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy callshis father again. "So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believethis they've had such good results with this program that they'veimplemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get himin that program? "
Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends themoney.
The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father willfind out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is allexcited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and readsomething!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, justbefore we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking backin the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then heturned to me and asked, ' So, is your daddy still messin' around with thatlittle redhead who lives on Oak Street ?'
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talksto your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 13 January 2016
  • Currently 6.79/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (24)

MAGIC SQUARE: Calculate A+B-C

The aim is to place the some numbers from the list (3, 21, 26, 27, 31, 32, 34, 37, 48, 64, 69, 74) into the empty squares and squares marked with A, B an C. Sum of each row and column should be equal. All the numbers of the magic square must be different. Find values for A, B, and C. Solution is A+B-C.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

You might be a redneck if 57

You might be a reneck if...

You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but don't use it because they won't come down your driveway to get it.

The fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recoginze your wife.... and wave to her.

Your wife picks thru your garbage cans looking for any bait that may have grown in them since the last time you went.

You have ever removed the 3-9 zoom scope from your deer rifle to use at a KISS concert.

You have more than 2 used pampers rolling around in the back of your truck.

When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.

Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into "America's Most Wanted".

You own more than two clappers.

You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.

You recycle enough Copenhagen lids to buy Christmas presents.

#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 13 January 2012
  • Currently 4.41/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (22)

People are ignoring me

A patient walks into a doctor's office.

Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.

Doctor: Next!

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 13 January 2011
  • Currently 5.15/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (20)

Rickey Smiley: White Church

I joined a white church because white people get out on time.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 13 January 2012
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (20)

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