Jokes of the day for Friday, 12 March 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 12 March 2021
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

A blonde was sick and tired of

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself.
A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists.
"What are you doing?" they ask her.
So she replies, "Hanging myself."
The men are confused and asked, "If you are hanging yourself, you put the rope around your neck."
The blond says, "Duh...I tried that, I couldn't breath."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.58/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (12)

Bartender Breakup

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend...
But he kept asking her for another shot.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Birthday gift...

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with waterguns?"

Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember...."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 31 March 2015
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Ra

Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 12 March 2015
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Match Made in Heaven

A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died.
At the Pearly Gates, the young couple confronted St. Peter. "Sir, you have to help us! We were to be married tomorrow. Is there any way we can be married in Heaven?"
"Hmmm," replied St. Peter, "I don't recall there ever being a marriage in Heaven. Well, let's take it up with God and see what he says."
So they approached God with their plea. God sat for a moment, pondering the request. Then he looked down and said, "Come back in five years and ask me again."
Five years later, the couple approached God again, even more in love than ever and pleading that he allow their marriage. God paused for quite a while, musing over their request. Then he spoke, "Come back in five years and ask me again."
And once again, five years later, the couple was again in the presence of God, more in love than ever and begging God's permission for the third time to marry. This time God smiled broadly and thundered, "Yes my children, you may marry!"
Well, the wedding went off beautifully, the reception was huge, everyone thought the bride was simply breathtaking and the groom was soooo handsome, and everyone was happy! Until...
Two years later, the couple was back before God, and things were not looking so good. The couple had come to the realization almost immediately that although marriages were made in heaven, they didn't last very long there! And, in spite of their struggles to come to terms with the situation, they had decided there simply was no alternative but to get a divorce.
Black clouds fractured by lightening rolled across the sky, and the ground shook with explosive thunder. God glared down at the tiny couple before him, his face becoming dark and angry, and he roared, "Divorce?! Impossible!!! It took us TEN years just to find a priest in Heaven! Do you have any idea how long it will take to find a LAWYER?!!"

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 12 March 2009
  • Currently 6.36/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (39)

Paul Varghese: Knock Knock Joke

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 12 March 2012
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (35)

Find number abc

If acb5a - 2a2c9 = 5a4a9 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Where are we?

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee,

"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are...very slowly?"

The employee leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 12 March 2009
  • Currently 5.72/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (32)

School Collection 08


A math joke
If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!

A history joke
What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?
The registration of the car that ran him over!

Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

A history joke
Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
The second one!

A math joke
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
Class: At once!


#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 12 March 2013
  • Currently 3.87/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (30)

Natural talents

I have never made a fool of my mother-in-law,

I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 12 March 2012
  • Currently 4.05/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (22)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.