Jokes of the day for Monday, 29 March 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 29 March 2021
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

A husband and wife are sitting

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, "What are you staring at?"
"A spider," he replies.
"I don't see anything," she says.
"Oh, it must have fallen on your head," he said calmly.
The wife jumps up screaming...
The man says, "While you're up, can you get me another beer?"
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.56/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (16)

The Brella Inventor

The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it brella...
But he hesitated.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.07/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (14)

Living will

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a "Living Will"

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 17 April 2015
  • Currently 6.53/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (17)

One day, Mom was cleaning juni

One day, Mom was cleaning junior's room, and in the closet she found abondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid themagazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at itand handed it back to her with out a word.
She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 30 March 2015
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

 A Very Faithful Woman


An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 March 2019
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (58)

A child comes home from his fi...

A child comes home from his first day at school.
His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 29 March 2017
  • Currently 8.84/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (51)

MAGIC SQUARE: Calculate A*B-C

The aim is to place the some numbers from the list (6, 7, 8, 24, 25, 26, 64, 65, 66) into the empty squares and squares marked with A, B an C. Sum of each row and column should be equal. All the numbers of the magic square must be different. Find values for A, B, and C. Solution is A*B-C.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

From The Blonde Files

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV...
The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Jack and said, 'Do you think he'll jump?' Jack says, 'You know what, I bet he will.' The blonde replied, 'Well, I bet he won't.' Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, 'You're on!'
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, 'Fair's fair... Here's your money.' Jack replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump.
'The blonde replies, 'I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again.' Jack took the money..

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 29 March 2017
  • Currently 8.91/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (46)

Yo mama is so short

Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

Yo mama so short she models for trophys.

#joke #yomama
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 March 2012
  • Currently 3.15/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (39)

Andy Kindler: Celebrating Suffering

Jewish people, we dont believe in Hell or a future place to suffer. Were suffering right now. Every one of our holidays celebrates how much weve suffered. Passover -- were celebrating 5,000 years ago, God passed over our houses and murdered all the Egyptians. Were celebrating, Hey, thank God we didnt get slaughtered.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 29 March 2010
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (37)

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