A World War II pilot is reminiA World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.
"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.
At this point, several of the children giggle.
I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me."
At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company."
"That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts."
Gym Record for Consecutive Days
I didn't make it to the gym today...
That makes 1,523 days in a row I didn't go!
Send my luggagePassenger to Airline Ticket Agent: I want my brown suitcase sent to Los Angeles, my green suitcase sent to Kansas City, and my tan suitcase sent to New Orleans.
Ticket Agent: I'm sorry, sir; this flight is to Nashville. We can't do that.
Passenger: Why not ? You did it last time.
A man entered the bus with bot...A man entered the bus with both of his front pants pockets full ofgolf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully andfinally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked."Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
Complete and Finished
There is a subtle but important difference between the words "complete" and "finished."
When you marry the right one, you are complete.
When you marry the wrong one, you are finished.
And if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished.
A young lady came home from a ...A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
Find number abc
Actual Answer from a Medical StudentWhile making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students.
âAs you can see,â he says, âthe patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.â
The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, âWhat would you do in a case like this?â
âWell,â ponders the student, âI suppose Iâd limp, too.â
"Simon, if I had eight apples ..."Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?
Huge hands, sir.