Jokes of the day for Sunday, 16 May 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 16 May 2021
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Watch What You Order

Two men walk into a bar. The first guy says he wants some H2O.
The second guy says he wants some H2O too.
The second guy died.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

A soldier at the Pentagon got

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world''s most powerful military organization HQ. But, luckily, no one was around to see him.
So, he ran as fast as he could to the elevator. When it arrived, it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and got in. When the doors opened on his floor, there was no one waiting outside. "This must be my lucky day," he said to himself. He was now only a few yards from his office.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He heard the General's voice. There was no way he'd make it to his door in time, so he ducked into the closest office available, and found himself in the laboratory for Research & Development. The Head Scientist looked up from one of her experiments with puzzled interest.
The soldier thought quickly, stood up straight and saluted.
"I am here to report the partial success of the Personal Invisibility Device," he said.
"I see," the Head Scientist said. "But the Shrink Ray seems to be working perfectly."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 21 February 2021
  • Currently 6.27/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (11)

Play your age...

A woman in Atlantic City was losing at the roulette wheel. When she was down to her last 10 dollars, she asked the fellow next to her for a good number.

“Why don’t you play your age?” he suggested.

The woman agreed, and then put her money on the table.

The next thing the guy with the advice knew, the woman had fainted and fallen to the floor. He rushed right over.

“Did she win?” he asked.

“No” replied the attendant.

“She put 10 dollars on 33 and 46 came in.”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 04 June 2015
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Biblical Theme Songs

Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"
Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"
Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"
Esther: "I Feel Pretty"
Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"
Moses: "The Wanderer"
Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"
Samson: "Hair"Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"
Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Esau: "Born To Be Wild"
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!"
The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"
Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"
Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"
Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"
Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 May 2010
  • Currently 4.39/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (41)

Chuck Norris hears sign langua...

Chuck Norris hears sign language.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 May 2011
  • Currently 3.98/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (41)

The Young Executive & The Blonde CEO

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the Blonde CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
'Listen,' said the CEO, 'this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?'
'Certainly,' said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
'Excellent, excellent!' said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. 'I just need one copy...'

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 16 May 2017
  • Currently 8.16/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (32)

Find a famous person

Find the first and the last name of a famous person. Text may go in all 8 directions. Length of words in solution: 5,6.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A lawyer died and arrived at t...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 May 2009
  • Currently 6.33/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (24)

Daniel Tosh: God Does Not Hate Gay People

God does not hate gay people. Hes just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 May 2010
  • Currently 4.04/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (24)

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