Jokes of the day for Saturday, 29 May 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 29 May 2021
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Most South Asian dance music o

Most South Asian dance music originates from Bhangradesh.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

Back in the Cold War days, Iva

Back in the Cold War days, Ivan was a diplomat and spy. He was new to the USA and lived in Washington, D.C. After six months he complained to Boris, his aide, that he needed a woman.
Boris dropped off a high-priced hooker at his door the following Saturday night. Ivan plied her with some vodka and caviar. As she took off her top, he noticed that her armpits were shaved. He said, pointing top his own pits, "Vomen in the old country have wool – they have wool!"
She responded, "In the U.S. it's customary and fashionable to shave our underarms."
They drank more vodka and ate more caviar. She removed her slacks and he noticed that her legs are shaved also.
He repeated, "Vomen in the old country have wool – they have wool!"
Once more, she said, "In the U.S. it's customary and fashionable to shave our legs."
After more vodka and caviar, he pulled down her panties and saw that her privates were trimmed. He exclaimed again, "Vomen in the old country have wool – they have wool!"
She then asked in loud voice, "Look buddy, did you want to screw or knit?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

Angelic Assistance?

An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground.Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!”With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse’s back—and fell off the other side.From the ground again, he called out, “All right, just half of you angels this time!”
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

How I Felt

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt.
She felt the same way.
So I turned on the air conditioner.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

On safari...

A big game hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.

Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!

"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically, "Do something!"

"Oh, no," the husband says, "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 17 June 2015
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (15)

Grandpa and Little Johnny are

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?"
Grandpa looks at him and says, "No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny.
Grandpa replies, "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one to write to."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 May 2015
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Remove 6 letters from this seq...

Remove 6 letters from this sequence (ATTAECUKNIIINKG) to reveal a familiar English word.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

John Caparulo: Yard Sales on Memorial Day

Every year back in Ohio, we would have yard sales on Memorial Day weekend, so its like Mardi Gras for white trash.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 May 2012
  • Currently 3.66/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (44)

Dan Cummins: Pizza Sale

I saw a grown man once riding one of those weird standup scooters down the side of the road -- you have to tilt to make it move forward, I think its called a Segway or a Douchebag Way -- wearing a toga and holding a sign for a pizza sale. My first thought was, Congrats, youve hit rock bottom. But my second thought was, If you took away just the sign, then that guy would rule.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 29 May 2010
  • Currently 3.43/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (40)

An explorer walked into a clea...

An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pigmy answered: "Yes". "How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?"
"I killed it with my club" replied the pigmy.
"That's amazing," said the explorer. "How big's your club?"
The pigmy replied: "There's about 150 of us"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 29 May 2010
  • Currently 6.66/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (38)

A Jewish Landing

As the plane settled down at Ben Gurion airport, the voice of the Captain came on:
"Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until this plane is at a complete standstill and the seat belt signs have been turned off.""To those of you standing in the aisles, we wish you a Happy Hanukkah."
"To those who have remained in their seats, we wish you a Merry Christmas."

#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 May 2009
  • Currently 5.09/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (35)

I think...

There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde.

They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then "POOF" you'll disappear."

So the red head goes in first and stares deeply into the mirror and proclaims, "I think that i am the most beautiful woman in the world!", "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.

Then the brunette goes in. "I think that i am the smartest woman in the world," "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.

Now it's the blonde's turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror. She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, "I think... "POOF " she disappears.

Submitted by Curtis

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 May 2011
  • Currently 5.75/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (32)

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