Jokes of the day for Thursday, 03 June 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 03 June 2021
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Some Corner of the Earth

I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...
But unfortunately, the earth is round.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.47/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (15)

Worms

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment."

First graders of the Interamerican University Elementary School in San German


Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said - "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."      

#joke
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

A man put his car in reverse a

A man put his car in reverse and accidentally drove it into a wall. He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper.
A few days later, he actually did it again. "I'm so embarrassed," he moaned to his wife while he reached for the phone.
"Why not tell him it was me this time?" his wife suggested.
"I could," he said while dialing, "but that's what I told him last time."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 9.07/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (15)

Where Did She Go?

An elderly woman in her nineties had a visitor from her church come to see her at the nursing home. “How are you?” the visitor asked. “Oh,” said the elderly woman, “I’m just worried sick!”“You look like you’re in good health. They take good care of you here, don’t they?”“Oh, yes, they take good care of me here.”“Do you have any pain?” the visitor asked.“No, I can’t say I do,” the elderly woman replied.“Then what has you worried sick?” the visitor asked.The elderly woman leaned in and explained, “All of my closest friends have already died and gone to heaven. I’m sure they are all wondering where I went!”
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (17)

The insomniac stayed up late m

The insomniac stayed up late making a long list of to doze.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 October 2017
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More Things You'd Never Have Known If Not For the Movies:

If you overpower a sentry or guard, his uniform will fit you perfectly.

It is possible to brush your teeth without any toothpaste foam appearing on your lips.

Handsome men don't belch or fart.

If you're a team of misfits and losers, you'll win the championship.

In a large city, the streets are always wet at night.

Most bathrooms do not have a toilet.

All orphans can sing and dance, both alone and in groups.

You'll find a parking space in front of your building in New York.

A person wearing a good latex mask can deceive even close friends of the person the mask depicts.

It usually rains during outdoor funerals.

Police officers may beat the daylights out of a suspect in the course of an arrest, but are careful to guide him gently into the squad car so he doesn't bump his head.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 22 June 2015
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Find the right combination

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's ...

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 03 June 2012
  • Currently 4.82/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (44)

Dear Abby,
I'v

Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need youradvice on what could be a crucial decision.I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.It's the usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently - although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just don't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my boat next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.It was at that moment, crouching behind my boat, that I noticed that the lower unit seemed to be leaking a little oil.Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
Worried Sick in Indiana
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 June 2019
  • Currently 8.76/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (33)

Writing letters to son

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.

Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:

"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 03 June 2011
  • Currently 5.70/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (33)

Joe passed away. His will prov

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
"Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"
"Two and a half carats."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 03 June 2018
  • Currently 7.89/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (28)

You Might Be A Redneck If 50


You might be a redneck if...
You think cur is a breed of dog.
People hear your car long before they see it.
Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
You've ever hitchhiked naked.
You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 03 June 2011
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