Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 22 June 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 22 June 2021
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Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Anime films

Anime films are universally Japanned by critics.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

What Goes Around, Comes Around

An older couple went to dinner at a trendy restaurant that had no printed menus--just a scannable QR code to see the menu on your phone.
After much grumbling about new-fangled things, they ordered a light dinner and afterward the waiter delivered the check.
When the waiter came back for payment, the husband displayed his phone to the waiter showing an image of a $100 bill.
"Here. You can keep the change."

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Three Policemen at the Pearly Gates

Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates.Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?”“I was a police officer,” he responded.“What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked.“I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.”“Welcome to heaven. You may end the gates.”He asked the second man what he did as a police officer.“I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.”“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.”He asked the third man what he did as a police officer.“I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man.“Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?”
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (15)

Two boys were arguing when the

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a £10 note and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys looked at each other then gave the £10 note to the teacher.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 May 2021
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

How was I born?

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.

"Oh, the stork brought us too."

"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 July 2015
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

A woman went to the doctor's

A woman went to the doctor's office, where she was seen by a young, new doctor.
After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.
The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded,
"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 22 June 2015
  • Currently 8.85/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (20)

Remove 6 letters from this seq...

Remove 6 letters from this sequence (MCIASCHAIDIIONG) to reveal a familiar English word.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Demetri Martin: Cool Leather

I was at a party the other night, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, and I thought, That is cool. Like 10 minutes later, I saw a guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, That is not cool. Thats when I realized cool is all about leather sleeves.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 June 2011
  • Currently 2.94/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (47)

This one never gets old - The New CEO

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said,”Wait right here.”
He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.
Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked,
“Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said,
“Sure – he was the Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s and was just waiting to collect the money!”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 June 2017
  • Currently 8.52/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (46)

Johnnie Cochrane Closing Arguments for US v. Clinton

From the law offices of Johnnie Cochrane, Esquire, here are

the top ten proposed closing arguments in the matter of

United States v. William J. Clinton:

10. If the dress aint a mess, he won't need to confess

9. The economy's great, let the White Boy skate

8. If the Bitch didn't spit, you must acquit

7. If she is not spread eagle, then it is not illegal

6. Lewinsky's a whore, and Bill's better than Gore

5. So he lied to the masses, he was just saving some asses

4. He cheats on his wife, but its his personal life

3. Bill can't tell the truth till he sees Ken Starr's

proof

2. Bill is not sleazy, Lewinsky's just easy

And the number one closing argument by Johnny Cochrane:

1. If the sex is just oral, it is not really immoral

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 June 2010
  • Currently 3.91/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (44)

Blonde Houses

Q: What is even dumber than a blonde trying to build a house

underwater?

A: A blonde trying to burn it down.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 June 2011
  • Currently 3.92/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (36)

Dollars Equal Ten Cents


Theorem: 1$ = 10 cent
Proof:
We know that $1 = 100 cents
Divide both sides by 100
$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents
=> $ 1/100 = 1 cent
Take square root both side
=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)
=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent
Multiply both side by 10
=> $1 = 10 cent

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 June 2011
  • Currently 3.26/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (35)

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