Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 06 July 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 06 July 2021

Which character from Gilligan&

Which character from Gilligan's Island always screamed for water?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.08/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (12)

What would be different if

What would be different if men really ruled the world
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get ‘em next time" would pretty much do it.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Garbage would take itself out.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too.
St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: "You know how fast you were going" You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place." Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."
People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
#joke #monday #beer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (16)

SLIDESHOW #119 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Shack It to Me...in Heaven

A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold. They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street. Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack.“This belongs to you,” said Saint Peter.“Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in?” the man demanded.“We did the best we could with the money you sent us!” Saint Peter replied.
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

Extensive Seashell Collection

“I have the world’s largest collection of seashells...
You may have seen it, I keep it scattered on beaches all over.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Tourists

A group of American tourists was being guided through an ancient castle in Europe.

"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."

"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 July 2015
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

Porn movies

Why do men like to watch porno movies backward?

They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 July 2011
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (50)

Price Check on Tampax

When Jane reached the checkout counter, she learned that one

of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when

the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the

store to hear, "Price check on Tampax, supersize please."

As if that was not bad enough, somebody at the rear of the

store misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "thumbtacks."

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the

intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb

or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 July 2010
  • Currently 6.40/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (43)

Cat Jokes 03


Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!

Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?

A: 'Claws.'
Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger?

A: A stri-ped!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?

A: A stripey sweater!

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

A: 'Pleased to eat you.'!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

A: Frostbite!

Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?

A: 'Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'
Q: What is lion's favorite food?

A: Baked beings!


#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 July 2011
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (38)

It was the middle of the night...

It was the middle of the night. Suddenly there was a loud rapping on the doctor’s door, followed by a groan. The doctor angrily thrust his head out of the window. “WELL?” he shouted.
“No,” moaned the man. “Sick.”
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 July 2010
  • Currently 6.81/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (36)

Bill Hicks: Confusing L.A. Weather

L.A. is a very confusing place, only place I know where you can have, simultaneously, a drought and a flood. Every time you watch the weatherman, he goes, Rained all day, didnt help the drought. Back to you, Tom. I got news for you, folks. If water doesnt solve your drought, youre screwed.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 July 2010
  • Currently 4.27/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (30)

Most Useless Inventions


  1. Non stick Cellotape
  2. Solar Powered Flash Light
  3. A black highlighter pen
  4. Glow in the dark sunglasses
  5. Inflatable Anchor
  6. Smooth Sandpaper
  7. Waterproof sponge
  8. Waterproof Teabags
  9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
  10. Fireproof Matches
  11. Fireproof Cigarettes
  12. Battery powered Battery Charger
  13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes
  14. Hand powered Chainsaw
  15. Inflatable Dartboard
  16. Silent Alarm Clock
  17. A Pedal powered wheelchair
  18. Braille Drivers Manual
  19. Double sided playing cards
  20. Ejector seats for Helicopters

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 February 2016
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Money Talks

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 July 2015
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

One Sunday, in counting the mo...

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinct ivepink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot,are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"
The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful;what does he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada .. He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 01 August 2015
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

Birthday Party

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they headed to the rear of the house. 

The guests arrived, and all was going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half and hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic, and would probably not make the party at all.
The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips, and leaped high in the air.
She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!"

The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. 'HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?"            

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 21 April 2015
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

A pretty young college student...

A pretty young college student visited her professor's office after class. She glanced down the hall, closed his door and knelt down before him.
"I would do anything to pass this exam," she said. Leaning closer, she whispered seductively, "I mean, I would do anything."
He looked down at her and said, "You'll do anything?"
"Anything," she replied again.
His voice softened. "Anything," he repeated.
She smiled and again said, "Anything."
His voice turned to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 29 March 2020
  • Currently 7.71/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (14)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.