Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 18 August 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 18 August 2021
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

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Workout Routine

I started a new workout routine this week, doing crunches twice a day...
I do Cap'n in the morning and Nestle's in the afternoon.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Private Grief

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

Flowers on my grave


The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

#joke
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Store Manager: "I saw you argu

Store Manager: "I saw you arguing with that customer who just left. I told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me?"
Salesclerk: "Yes, sir. The customer is always right."
Store Manager: "That's better. Now what were you arguing with the customer about?"
Salesclerk: "Well, sir, he said you were an idiot."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (14)

The Dead Dog

A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.

"Are you sure", the distraught woman asked? "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.

"Well, that confirms it", the vet announced, "your dog is dead."

Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"

"That will be $1,330", the vet replied.

"I don't believe it", screamed the woman! "What did you do that cost $1,330????"

"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $1,300 for the CAT scan."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 06 September 2015
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

Getting the queen of daytime T

Getting the queen of daytime TV to lose weight is a complicated Oprah ration.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 01 August 2015
  • Currently 1.57/10

Rating: 1.6/10 (7)

The Wedding

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 August 2009
  • Currently 4.99/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (74)

MAGIC SQUARE: Calculate A*B-C

The aim is to place the some numbers from the list (4, 5, 12, 13, 14, 17, 21, 31, 32, 39) into the empty squares and squares marked with A, B an C. Sum of each row and column should be equal. All the numbers of the magic square must be different. Find values for A, B, and C. Solution is A*B-C.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Chuck Norris does not go hunti...

Chuck Norris does not go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 August 2011
  • Currently 2.78/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (46)

Blonde Coyote

Did you hear about the blonde coyote?

She got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of her legs and was still stuck.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 August 2010
  • Currently 3.95/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (37)

Converting to the Society of Friends

Rabbi 1: We've got to do something. Many of the young people in our synagogue are converting to the Quaker faith.
Rabbi 2: I've noticed that too. In fact, some of my best Jews are Friends!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 August 2010
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (27)

Maria Bamford: 30 Ways to Shape Up

Thirty ways to shape up for summer -- number one: eat less; number two: exercise more; number three... What was I talking about? Im so hungry right now.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 August 2011
  • Currently 3.35/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (26)

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