Jokes of the day for Friday, 17 December 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 17 December 2021
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Two roaches were munching on g

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It's so sanitary the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach, frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Flush Them Out

Sergeant: "Private, I think the enemy soldiers are hiding in the woods. I want you to go in there and flush them out for us."
Private: "Yes, sir! But if you see a bunch of guys running out the woods, don’t shoot the one in front, sir!"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 December 2019
  • Currently 7.06/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (17)

Luft hansa, p

Luft hansa, please, if you've ever been on a German airline.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 05 February 2017
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

A little hard of hearing!

A 92 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the Dr. saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

A couple of days later the Dr. talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."

The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 05 January 2016
  • Currently 8.73/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (11)

There was a competition to cro...

There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 December 2009
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (65)

Guns don't kill people. Chuck ...

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 17 December 2011
  • Currently 3.27/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (52)

Calculate the number 2206

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 2206 using numbers [4, 2, 4, 9, 76, 753] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Matt's dad picked him up from...

Matt's dad picked him up from school one afternoon. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 December 2019
  • Currently 9.06/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (34)

Burning Calories

Me: "I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes."
Friend: "How?"
Me: "I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 December 2019
  • Currently 8.63/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (30)

Santa accessed someones facebook account

Somebody forgot to set his privacy settings.... Think this is how he got the red nose?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 17 December 2014
  • Currently 8.03/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (30)

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