Halloween jokes (1 to 10)

Halloween jokes (1 to 10) Jokes about halloween. These are the jokes listed 1 to 10.
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (4440)

Happy Thanksgiving Check out our latest Thanksgiving jokes and quotes on: Thanksgiving jokes collection

Coffee Shop

I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.
"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.
The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."

#joke #halloween
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

20 more of 2020 Halloween Jokes

Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
A: At the casketeria.

Q: What part of the street do vampires live on?
A: The dead end.

Q: What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin-pi!

Q: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
A: It Sphinx!

Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
A: Count Spatula.

Q: What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?
A: Spooktacles

Q: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires?
A: Fangs-giving!

Q: What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
A: Rice Creepies.

Q: Where do ghosts go on holidays?
A: The Boohamas.

Q: What did one ghost say to the other?
A: Get a life!

Q: What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
A: Trick or trout. How do ghosts search the

Q: Web?
A: They use ghoul-gle.

Q: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.

Q: Who do monsters buy cookies from?
A: Ghoul scouts.

Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
A: Because there are so many plots there!

Q: Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?
A: Because they just had their brains scooped out!

Q: Where is the best place to party on Halloween?
A: The g-RAVE-yard.

Q: Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips?
A: It was just trying to be just like its mummy.

Q: Why do ghosts like to hang out at bars?
A: Because all of the Boos.

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body.

#joke #halloween #short #pun
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

18 new Halloween jokes from 2020

Q: Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

Q: What do owls say when they go trick or treating?
A: Happy Owl-ween!

Q: What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?
A: Booberries!

Q: Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?
A: His ghoul friend.

Q: What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?
A: Choco-LATE!

Q: Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?
A: Boo jeans.

Q: What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
A: You never know which witch is which!

Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
A: Prank-enstein!

Q: What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
A: Straw-berries.

Q: What does a witch use to do her hair?
A: Scarespray!

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.

Q:How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: A pumpkin patch.

Q: Why don’t vampires have more friends?
A: Because they are a pain in the neck.

Q: What position does a ghost play in hockey?
A: Ghoulie.

Q: What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?
A: Coffin-drops.

Q: What is a ghost's nose full of?
A: Boooooogers!

Q: Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is?
A: People are just dying to get in.

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept.

#joke #halloween #prank #short #pun
Joke | Source: Hand picked jokes - Daily Jokes hand picked from various locations
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

22 Fresh Halloween jokes for 2020

Q: Why do ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures

Q: What does a panda ghost eat?
A: Bam-BOO!

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.

Q: Why did the zombie skip school?
A: He felt rotten.

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A blood orange.

Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers!

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
A: Wrap music.

Q: Why don’t mummies have friends?
A: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.

Q: Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.

Q: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
A: The grim sweeper. Q:

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.

Q: What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand-witch!

Q: What's a witch's favorite makeup?
A: Ma-scare-a.

Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely?
A: The crossing gourd.

Q: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
A: Candy corneas.

Q: What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve?
A: Bam-BOO!

Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
A: Because they have no-body to go with.

#joke #doctor #halloween #short #pun
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Find number abc

If ab5b9 + 5b0b2 = 10cc71 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

On Halloween we will not pun.

On Halloween we will not pun. Instead we make candied observations.
#joke #short #halloween
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

“On Halloween, what i

“On Halloween, what is the most read part of a newspaper? The 'Horrorscope.'”

#joke #short #halloween
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.58/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (12)

A Penney For Your Thoughts

"I heard JC Penney was opening even earlier for Black Friday this year!"
"Really, when?"
"Halloween."

#joke #short #halloween #friday
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (16)

13 Thanksgiving Jokes and Quotes

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet

“Growing up, Christmas was always about me, and eventually you, when I finally started to enjoy the giving part. But Thanksgiving is always about us.” — Rosecrans Baldwin

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes ... but I told them I couldn't quit "cold turkey.”

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.

What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween? Gobble-ins!

Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play.

Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drum sticks!

“If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.” — Frank A. Clark

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

“Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg.” - Tom Swyers

“I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.” - Robert Brault

#joke #halloween #christmas #thanksgiving #short #pun
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

12 Funny Halloween Ghost Jokes

Q) Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
A) It didn’t have a haunting license.

Q) What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
A) The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!

Q) Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
A) Because they were trans-parents!

Q) Which ghost is the best dancer?
A) The Boogie Man!

Q) Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
A) It raises their spirits.

Q) What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A)Bamboo.

Q) Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
A) It dampens their spirits!

Q) What part of a house do ghosts and spirits avoid?
A) The living room.

Q) Why are ghosts such terrible liars?
A) Because you can see right through them.

Q) How did the little ghost learn to play the piano?
A) By using sheet music

Q) Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A) For the Boos.

Q) Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A) Mali-boo.

#joke #policeman #halloween
Joke | Source: John Chris - Funny jokes collected from all around
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

10 Vampire Jokes for Halloween

Why didn't anyone want to babysit the little vampire?
A) Because he was a pain in the neck.

What is Dracula's favorite place in New York City?
A) The Vampire State Building

What did the little vampire say when he went to bed?
A) Turn on the dark, I am afraid of the light.

What did the vampire say to his victim?
A) It's been nice gnawing you.

Why do little vampires look forward to school lunches?
A) Because they know they won't get stake.

Who did Dracula take out on a date?
A) His ghoul friend

What do vampires fear the most?
A) Tooth decay

How do you join Dracula's fan club?
A) Send your name, address, and blood type.

What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A) Nectarines

What's a vampire's favorite animal?
A) A giraffe

#joke #halloween
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.