Lawyer jokes - jokes about lawyers (11 to 20)

Lawyer jokes - jokes about lawyers (11 to 20) Jokes about lawyer. These are funny jokes with lawyers! These are the jokes listed 11 to 20.
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 Humor About Senior Citizens


OLD KIDS never die, they just grow up
OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils
OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelved
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references
OLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink out
OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under
OLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structures
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float away
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
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Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Two Scientists were working la

Two Scientists were working late discussing ideas about behavior modification studies. "We've started something new at my lab," said the first scientist. "For some of our more dangerous experiments, we're now using lawyers".
"Lawyers?" asks the second scientist. "Why aren't you using rats?"
"Well you know how it is," the first scientist replies. "You can get attached to rats."
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (9)

Husband: I want divorce. My wi

Husband: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!
#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

A woman went to a lawyer to di

A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband.
"Don't you love him anymore?" asked the lawyer.
"Oh, I still love him," she replied, "but all he ever wants is make love, I can't take it anymore."
"Instead of divorcing him, why don't you try charging him every time he wants to make love?" the lawyer suggested.
The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try.
As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the move on her.
"Not so fast," she replied. "From now on it'll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom."
"Well, then," he said. "Here's $50."
The wife began walking to the bedroom.
"Hold on," he said, grabbing her hand. "That'll be five times in the kitchen!"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
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Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

MATH PUZZLE: Can you replace...

MATH PUZZLE: Can you replace the question mark with a number?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

 Get Away With Murder


Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days"
George: "*WHAT*??? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days???"
Herman: "Yeah, it was a lawyer."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
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Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Village doctor and a snowstorm

Richard a village doctor was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. He reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, he told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.

When he got home and told his wife asked of what he had seen and done. His wife asked, "Was the patient really that bad?"

Richard said, "No, I just didn't want to be the only idiot called out on a night like this."

#joke #doctor #lawyer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

The bartender asks the guy sit

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?"
The guy answers, "A scotch, please."
The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration."
The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again."
The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!"
The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!"
The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."
To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch."
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.67/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (6)

“My lawyer wants to r

“My lawyer wants to represent Santa. He says if there is a Claus he will find a way to make money from it.”

#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
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Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

A Word Without My Lawyer Present

Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?

#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

A priest put up a signboard ou

A priest put up a signboard outside his church saying, "I pray for all."
A lawyer passing by wrote underneath, "I plead for all."
"I prescribe for all," scribbled a doctor.
"And I pay for all!" added a citizen.
#joke #short #doctor #lawyer
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.75/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

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