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Short jokes - funny one liners (3641 to 3680)

Short jokes - funny one liners (3641 to 3680)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3641 to 3680.

Blonde in a Pet Store

A blonde lady in the pet shop asks about buying a gold fish.
The salesperson ask if she needed an aquarium.
Her reply, 'I don't care what sign it is.'

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (30)

SLIDESHOW #72 - Funny Photo Slideshow

 Brating

frgtrg5trtrefrdfrgtgte
dsyrgfetgewugfdyrgfrue
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.81/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (16)

Angry Witch

Q. What do you call an angry Witch?
A. Ribbit
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (13)

After cosmetic surge...

“After cosmetic surgery the pelican faced a huge bill.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Typical Human Resources (HR) Response

'I proposed to my girlfriend last night, who just got promoted to an HR position earlier in the day.'
'That is cool! What did she say?'
She said, 'We will get back to you soon.'

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

My pet feline fell i...

“My pet feline fell into a bowl of seltzer water yesterday. She's been cat-a-tonic ever since.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

I got arrested at th...

“I got arrested at the Farmers Market for disturbing the peas.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

I took my new girlfr...

“I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink. Entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A woman phoned her dentist whe...

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

 Kinda Lame

....ya well we are gonna' make like a tree and leaf
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Make God Laugh

You know how to you make God laugh? Tell him your plans.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.06/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (17)

Two women were sitting on the...

Two women were sitting on the front porch of the farm house when they saw a rooster chasing a hen. The hen ran straight into the road and was killed by a passing car.
One of the women sighed, "How beautiful. She'd rather die."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.87/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (15)

Converting to the Society of Friends

Rabbi 1: We've got to do something. Many of the young people in our synagogue are converting to the Quaker faith.Rabbi 2: I've noticed that too. In fact, some of my best Jews are Friends!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

What did the drummer call his...

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
- Anna one, Anna two...
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (30)

I used to be a demol...

“I used to be a demolition expert - it was a blast.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

My girlfriend told me to take...

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

Loading is a small d...

“Loading is a small dent in the bottom of a car.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Born-Again Hindu

A zealous Christian who was trying to convert a Hindu found himself getting nowhere. "The thing is," argued the frustrated Christian, "you have to be born again!" "But I have been born again!" insisted the Hindu. "And again and again and again ..."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

My hens are in cages...

“My hens are in cages stacked one above the other - that is why they are called layers.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Never take a nail to...

“Never take a nail to a bar. They tend to get hammered.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

To the thief who stole my pill...

To the thief who stole my pillow, know this. I will not rest until I find you.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

Did you hear about t...

“Did you hear about the doctor who was going from full time to part time? He was either losing his patients or getting a bit out of practice.”

#joke #short #doctor
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

I came home & my dog peed a li...

I came home & my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I am surrounded by fakes.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

 Answering Machine Message 125


Sorry... I'm far too depressed to come to the phone. If you can be bothered, leave a message after the sound of the gunshot, and maybe somebody will call you I guess... (BANG!)

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Livelihood is an ene...

“Livelihood is an energetic gangster.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.40/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (10)

Why are brain surgeo...

“Why are brain surgeons ambitious? They want to get a head.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

Due to the cabbage c...

“Due to the cabbage crop failure it was really hard to get ahead!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

A comfortable thief...

“A comfortable thief takes things easy.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Good News, Bad News

A minister stood in front of his congregation and announced, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is that it’s still in your pockets.”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.06/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (17)

You know what really...

“You know what really bugs me? Flea Markets.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2...

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: 5.
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.92/10

Rating: 8.9/10 (13)

Do you have the stones to say this to your wife

My wife was going through her wardrobe and said "Look at this, it still fits me after 25 years."
I said "It's a freaking scarf."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

 Lol

Doc, I think I'm a bridge.' 'What's come over you?' 'So far, three cars, a truck and a bus.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

“An anesthesiologist

“An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

 Kill A Fish

Why cant a Blonde kill a fish?
cause she always trys to drown the fish...
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

“What do you call the

“What do you call the family of a water pump? Pump-Kin.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

“Did you hear about t

“Did you hear about the ice cream that died recently? Hundreds and thousands attended his funeral.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.44/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (9)

“Seated in economy cl

“Seated in economy class in a budget airlines cash strapped, I tightened my belt all the way!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

Why was Sunday mass...

“Why was Sunday mass canceled? Nun showed up.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

They come from a lon...

“They come from a long line of bakers. They're inbred.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Jokes Archive

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