What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I had a joke about a...
“I had a joke about a cake, but it's stale.”
Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A: Mice cream and cake.
I'm here until you say I'm n...
Complimentary soft drink
“Serving yourself a complimentary soft drink is a way to get emotional support.”
DON’T YOU FRET
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
My dog barks all the...
“My dog barks all the time. That is my pet hate.”
The art-supply store sold arti...The art-supply store sold artists' canvas by the yard. It came in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Clerk: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
What is the difference betweenWhat is the difference between a good and a bad girl?
A good girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed.
A bad girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.
I went to a creepy d...
“I went to a creepy dermatologist the other day. He made my skin crawl.”