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Short jokes - funny one liners (3761 to 3800)

Short jokes - funny one liners (3761 to 3800)

Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 3761 to 3800.

 Do You See The Dead Bird?


A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.
Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. "Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?"

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.64/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #60 - Funny Photo Slideshow

In the vinyl analysi...

“In the vinyl analysis, plastic waste in the ocean poses a serious threat to marine life.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (10)

I was on the Subway

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks ‘Are you reading that?'
I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Pierced Ears and Marriage

Q. Why are Jewish men with pierced ears well prepared for marriage? A. Because they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Dead Atheist

Q: What do you call a dead atheist? A: Someone all dressed up with nowhere to go! - Joke shared by Beliefnet member sharohio
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

A Puzzle for Darwin

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: Let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

Why couldn't the pi...

“Why couldn't the pig see his house? He had a sty in his eye.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.64/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (11)

“Did you hear about t

“Did you hear about the exiled barrel? He was casked out!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo

If I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“Are you feeling blue

“Are you feeling blue? Yes, cyan.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.44/10

Rating: 1.4/10 (9)

Row, Row, Row Your Boat?

A student was asked if he knew what Roe v. Wade was about. He answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Messing with skeleto...

“Messing with skeletons takes a lot of spine!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Calling home, the traveling va...

Calling home, the traveling vacuum cleaner salesman complained to his wife that he'd gotten two orders that day.
"But darling," she declared, "that's wonderful!"
"Not so wonderful," he glumly corrected. "The first was 'Get out' and the second was 'Stay out.'"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

A sailor has courage...

“A sailor has courage by the boatload.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Friendly Pastor

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

The invention of dyn...

“The invention of dynamite sure was ground breaking.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

“Procure is used to h

“Procure is used to heal a professional.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

I applied for a job...

“I applied for a job as a weatherman, but my knowledge of meteorology was a little cloudy.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Geology rocks, but G...

“Geology rocks, but Geography is where it's at!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

Big Mouth!

A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. "I'll have a pound of that salmon," he said."That's not salmon," the clerk said. "It's ham.""Mister," the customer snapped, "in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.44/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (9)

“Why did the watch ma

“Why did the watch make a quick trip to the dry cleaners? It was pressed for time!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

What Did the Cannibal Say…

Q. What did the cannibal say when he came upon a sleeping missionary.A. "Ah! Breakfast in bed."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

If Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...

“If absence makes the heart grow fonder,” said a minister, “a lot of folks must really love our church.”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

“Quite a few people l

“Quite a few people left the office to attend Ash Wednesday services at lunch - it was a mass exodus!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Eve's Steep Price

God noticed that Adam was lonely. He said to him "Adam, I am going to give you the perfect companion. She'll cook and clean and listen, she's perfect."Adam replied, "What will she cost me?"God said, "An arm and a leg."Shocked, Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

“A solitary farmer is

“A solitary farmer is a lone granger.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Did you ever see the customers

Did you ever see the customers in a health-food store? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead.
In a steak house you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying of course, but they look terrific.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“When it comes to dan

“When it comes to dancing, no one can just waltz in and learn instantly. Sometimes it takes a quick-step, or sometimes you need to hustle around. But eventually anyone can get the swing of it.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

Two blondes are walking around

Two blondes are walking around a zoo, when one says, "Look at that lion with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

“Beware of lumberjack

“Beware of lumberjacks bearing dull tools. They usually have an axe to grind!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

When Life Begins

There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (22)

“If your computer doe

“If your computer doesn't work, I might have some Bits and PCs that could help.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.44/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (9)

The Buddha's Vacuum Cleaner

Q: Why did it take the Buddha forever to vacuum his sofa?
A: Because he didn't have any attachments.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

My dog has an attitu...

“My dog has an attitude. He is a cocky spaniel.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Where do bulls excha...

“Where do bulls exchange their messages? On a bulletin board.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Answering Machine Message 27

Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra": Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached... (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

A ghoul that dines o...

“A ghoul that dines on kangaroos is a hop goblin.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

How To Kill A Blonde

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: put spikes on her/his shoulder pads.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.93/10

Rating: 1.9/10 (14)

If you want to deliv...

“If you want to deliver a compliment, you have to address them properly.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Jokes Archive

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