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Thanksgiving jokes - jokes about thanksgiving day (31 to 45)

Thanksgiving jokes - jokes about thanksgiving day (31 to 45)

Jokes about thanksgiving day. These are the jokes listed 31 to 45.

We're having the same thing...

We're having the same thing this year for Thanksgiving dinner as last year: relatives.
#joke #short #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
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SLIDESHOW #31 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Thanksgiving Jokes

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside, of course.
Q: Why did the turkey get in trouble at school?
A: He was cornu-copying.
Q: What smells the best during Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Your nose.
#joke #short #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Thanksgiving

A man went one Thanksgiving to get a turkey from a live poultry farm. "Do you have any turkeys going cheap?" he asked."Nope," said the owner. "All our turkey go gobble, gobble.'"
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use fowl language.
Q: What's the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick.
Q: Which cat discovered America?
A: Christofurry Columbus.
#joke #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

The pro-football team had just...

The pro-football team had just finished its daily practice when a large turkey strutted onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and requested a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “Your are terrific! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge signing bonus.” “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said. “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”
#joke #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

These questions about Canada w

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourismwebsite and obviously the answers came from a fellow Canuck.
Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only six thousand km, take lots of water. . .
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)!
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?
Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R&R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
#joke #doctor #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.44/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

I Don't Want to Go

Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church.
Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: "The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."
"Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied, "So why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
#joke #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is one you should be sure to email to your Mom. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side, while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

#joke #thanksgiving #friday
  • Currently 7.09/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (11)

Oh, yeah?

Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers."

"Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "so why is their dad carrying that rifle?"

#joke #thanksgiving
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (12)

One Sunday a pastor told the c...

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."
#joke #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.49/10

Rating: 8.5/10 (51)

“After Thanksgiving d

“After Thanksgiving dinner, I was as stuffed as a turkey!”

#joke #short #thanksgiving
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

If Thanksgiving is your left l

If Thanksgiving is your left leg and Christmas is your right leg, can I visit between the holidays?
#joke #short #christmas #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Funny video of the day - 5 Genius Thanksgiving Leftover Hacks

5 Genius Thanksgiving Leftover Hacks - Make Thanksgiving last all week long. - link to page video is posted initially.
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Funny Photo of the day - Great thanksgiving meal

Great thanksgiving meal - Budget version | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
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Thanksgiving Call

 November 26, 2014

Old Age At Its Best

Contributed by Glen Tilley

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it, and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and lo and behold, there sat Russ.!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you.?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for.?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop, where I sometimes go.?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her.?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

#joke #blonde #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Florida Dude - Welcome To The Beach - new jokes every day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Thanksgiving Call

November 26, 2014

Old Age At Its Best

Contributed by Glen Tilley

Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels, and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it, and figured maybe he had a cold or something.

But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and lo and behold, there sat Russ.!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him, and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you.?'

Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for.?'

'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop, where I sometimes go.?'

'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her.?

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me, and at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.

'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

#joke #blonde #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Florida Dude - Welcome To The Beach - new jokes every day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Jokes Archive

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