In the days of the Wild West,
In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wantedmore than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world.He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that hewasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly manstanding at the bar who in his day had the reputation of being the fastest gun in theWest. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought hima drink and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you thinkyou could give me some tips?" he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing,you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
"Sure will," replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 andshot the bow tie off the piano player.
"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where thehammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew hisgun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here.. Got anymore tips?"
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "Seethat axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease onthe barrel of his gun.
"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handleand all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
The Old Timer said , "No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing thepiano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much if it'sall greased up."
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