Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 16 January 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 16 January 2018
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (1511)

New Way to Play Doctor

Two kids were deciding what game to play.
One said, “Let’s play doctor!”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You be the doctor who operates, and I’ll be the patient who sues.”

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“Feather dusters are

“Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

A man was crossing a road one

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a Software Engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

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 The Results Of A Study


About 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didn't have to.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 30 August 2017
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Waiting for love...

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

"No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."

"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.

"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 January 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Tony Rock: Alcohol Is a Drug

I love alcohol, man. Some people call alcohol a drug, too. Some people say that, Alcohols a drug. Not me, I call it a vitamin. Cause whatever your deficiency is, alcohol will treat it.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 January 2012
  • Currently 4.08/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (25)

What Is In Front Of A Woman,...

What Is In Front Of A Woman, And The Back Of Cow?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Husband for sale

A store where a woman may go to choose a husband has opened in Auckland.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

“You may visit this store only once! There are six floors, and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.”

So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 -- These Men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 --These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

“That's nice,” she thinks. “But I want more.”

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 -- These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are Extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 -- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 16 January 2015
  • Currently 7.84/10

Rating: 7.8/10 (19)

puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Masturbation Contest

Who's the world's greatest athlete? The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 January 2012
  • Currently 3.79/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (19)

Tony Rock: Whole Other Level

Heres a tip for all the weed smokers in the room. If youre going to smoke, always smoke with your fat friends -- the fatter the better. Cause your fat friends will take the munchies to a whole other level. Your fat friends are like, Damn, potato chips? Im gonna go bake a cake.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 January 2011
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (19)

Bush meets Moses

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair.

The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, "Aren't you Moses?" The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man's view and asked again, "Aren't you Moses?" The man continued to peruse the ceiling. George W. tugged at the man's sleeve and asked once again, "Aren't you Moses?"

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, "YES, I AM!"

George W. asked him why he was so uppity and had taken so long to answer him.

The man replied, "The last time I spoke to a Bush I ended up stuck in a desert for forty years!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 January 2010
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (18)

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