Just a head

The first has no arms, the second no legs, and

the third has no body, just a head.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash"

they're all in the pool. The guy with no arms

takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no

legs is closing fast. The head sank straight

to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs

finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming

from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he

had better dive down to rescue the head guy.

He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface

and places the head at the side of the pool,

where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and

shouts, "Three goddamn years I've spent learning

to swim with my goddamn ears. Then five seconds

before the whistle, some bastard puts a swimming

cap on me."