Jokes of the day for Monday, 22 November 2010

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 22 November 2010
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (55)

Happy Thanksgiving Check out our latest Thanksgiving jokes and quotes on: Thanksgiving jokes collection

Getting implants is Pa...

Getting implants is Parton parcel of being a outhern music belle.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (13)

Hoss rode into town to buy a b...

Hoss rode into town to buy a bull. Unfortunately, when he bought it, he was left with one dollar. Hoss needed to tell his wife to come with the truck and get the bull, but telegrams cost one dollar per word. Hoss said to the telegram man,"OK. I have my one word-'comfortable'." Why do you want to tell her that?” asked the telegram man. "Oh, she's not the best reader," Hoss said. "She'll read it really slowly". (Com-for-ta-ble, get it?)
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.13/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (8)

Funny video of the day - Funny video of the day Monday, 22 November 2010

Funny video of the day Monday, 22 November 2010 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (6)

Ten Times

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued. "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: Number 1: You have a dirty mind; Number 2: You didn't read your homework; and Number 3: One day you are going to be very, very disappointed.
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

The Oldest Profession

A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.
In the course of their arguments, they went all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was an incredible surgical feat."
The architect did not agree. He said, "But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So God must have been an architect."
The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member Jbooklover

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (12)

Funny Photo of the day - The Hungry Whale

The Hungry Whale | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Two roommates came in one nigh...

Two roommates came in one night and told their other roommate they were going to Le Mis.

The third roommate said, "Really?"

They replied, "Yeah, do you wanna come?"

She said, "Sure, let me get my strap-on."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

No room at the inn...

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past.

I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope. I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight beautiful,'

...and he sat up all night watching me."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.86/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (21)

What a winning combination?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Georgia Crazy Law


  • Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
  • Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
  • Signs are required to be written in English.
  • You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
  • No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.
  • It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.

    Acworth


  • All citizens must own a rake.

    Atlanta


  • Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
  • One man may not be on another man's back.

    Columbus


  • Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.
  • It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.

    Gainesville


  • Chicken must be eaten with the hands.

    Jonesboro


  • It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"

    Kennesaw


  • Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.

    Marietta


  • Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.

    St. Mary's


  • No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.

    Quitman


  • Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.
  • It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

    #joke
  • Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
    • Currently 5.63/10

    Rating: 5.6/10 (8)

    Halloween party

    A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

    She asks him why is he staring and he replies,

    'I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you.'

    She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

    'Well,' the cab driver says, 'I've always had a fantasy that a nun performs oral sex on me.'

    She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that. First, you have to be single, and secondly, you must be Catholic.'

    The cab driver is very excited and says,

    'Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!'

    The nun says, 'OK, pull into the next alley.'

    He does and the nun fulfils his fantasy.

    But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child, why are you crying?' says the nun.

    'Forgive me sister, but I have sinned,' says the cabby. 'I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

    The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.'

    #joke #halloween
    Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
    • Currently 5.40/10

    Rating: 5.4/10 (25)

    Doug Mellard: Prophylactics

    I remember one point, this older gentleman asked me for some prophylactics, and at that time, my sexual vocabulary wasnt that great, you know. So, Im checking my word bank for the closest thing I have to prophylactics. Closest thing I got -- pterodactyls. I was all confused. I was like, Excuse me, sir, I hate to break it to you, but those things have been extinct for 65 million years.
    #joke
    Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
    • Currently 4.09/10

    Rating: 4.1/10 (23)

    Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, ...

    Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
    The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock!
    We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
    "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
    "What fer?" asked Bubba.
    "Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.
    Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.
    When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" ....
    "No sir," Earl said. "We're on the patch."
    #joke #beer
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 January 2010
    • Currently 4.20/10

    Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

    Two blondes, Carol and Patt...

    Two blondes, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.

    Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." Patty said, "Let me look!" So Carol handed her the Compact.

    Patty looked in the mirror and said,"You dummy, it's me!

    #joke #blonde
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 13 December 2009
    • Currently 5.56/10

    Rating: 5.6/10 (50)

    A little boy opened the big an...

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages.

    "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:

    "It's Adam's suit!!!!!"

    #joke
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 November 2009
    • Currently 4.81/10

    Rating: 4.8/10 (63)

    There was a red head, a brunet...

    There was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde riding in the back of a truck. Suddenly the tire popped and the truck drove off the edge into the water.

    The red head and brunette swam up and survived, but the blonde drowned because she couldn't get the tail gate open.
    #joke #short #blonde
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 November 2008
    • Currently 3.80/10

    Rating: 3.8/10 (10)

    Dog Competition

    There once was a dog show to determine the world's smartest dog. Three dogs were in the finals. One dog belonged to a doctor. One dog belonged to an engineer. And, one dog belonged to a lawyer.

    For the finals each dog was given a bag of bones to see what it could make.

    The doctor said, "Stethascope, go!" The dog built a human skeleton.

    The judges were ready to award the trophy right then. But, they decided to give the other dogs a try.

    The engineer said, "Slide-rule, go!" (So, its an old joke.) The dog built a suspension bridge.

    The judges were beside themselves. Which dog would they pick?

    The lawyer said.

    "Loop-hole, go!" The dog ate the bones, got a percentage of all the tolls from the bridge and screwed the other two dogs.

    #joke #doctor #lawyer
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 November 2008
    • Currently 4.56/10

    Rating: 4.6/10 (9)

    A man moves into a new flat an...

    A man moves into a new flat and invites a few of his friends around for a housewarming drink.
    He's got lots of lovely furniture but then one of his friends sees an old hammer hanging on the wall and says, "What's that dirty old hammer doing there?" The man replies: "Oh, that's not a hammer, it's a talking clock. Look, I'll show you."

    So he picks up the hammer and starts banging it against the wall, whereupon a voice comes from next door shouting: "Keep it down in there, it's almost half past ten!"

    #joke
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 22 November 2008
    • Currently 6.14/10

    Rating: 6.1/10 (7)

    Baseball bat...

    After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register.

    "Cash or charge," the clerk asked.

    "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!"

    "Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"

    #joke
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 November 2009
    • Currently 5.00/10

    Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

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