Jokes of the day for Saturday, 22 December 2018

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 22 December 2018
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (967)

In the Sex Ed class the teache

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex."
The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?"
Johnny says, "Seventy three."

The teacher says, "Uh...very good, John, very good..."
She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?"

Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."
Johnny yells, "Seventy four!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

 When You Know You Must Really Be Drunk

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.
A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, the man told the bartender he’d had enough.
The bartender said, "I’ve got to ask you. What’s with the pocket business?"
"Oh," said the man, "I have my lawyer’s picture in here, and when he starts to look honest, I know I’ve had enough."
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (8)

A Moral Question

One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?"The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

A very large, old, building wa

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make roomfor a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could notbe imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.
While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeletonin a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they shouldcall the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closetand showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. Theysaid, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."
Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it any more,they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, "Weare the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to knowif it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."
The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind ofimportant."
"Well, who was it?"
"The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“Morticians have to b

“Morticians have to be careful to spell the name right to avoid making a grave mistake.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

The Wisdom of King Solomon

During King Solomon's reign, there was a handsome, successful young man who was wanted by all the young maidens in the kingdom. This young man was certainly aware of his advantages, and he would go wild with different girls and promise each of them the whole world. While most of the ladies knew he could not be trusted, two young women took his words seriously and announced to their family that they were going to marry the most successful and beautiful man in the kingdom.

The rumors of the marriage spread, and the two mothers of the young women who heard that someone else would marry the wanted man began to quarrel over the fate and future of their daughters. After failing to settle the dispute, the two mothers decided to go to King Solomon, the wisest man, and ask him to decide which of their daughters would marry the boy.

They dragged the young man to court and made their claims to the wise king. Solomon listened to them patiently, and after they finished he ordered, 'Bring me the greatest sword in the palace, I will split the man in two, and each woman will receive half of him!'

The first mother looked rather indifferent and said, 'Bring him the sword.'
The other mother, who was shocked by the order, yelled, 'Your majesty, remove the command, I will give up the groom-only do not spill his blood!'
King Solomon looked at the two women with a big smile and said, 'The first mother’s daughter will marry the young man!'
The confused court clerk turned to Solomon and said, 'My wise king, aren’t you confused? The first mother was willing to cut that young man into two!'
'Right!' King Solomon replied, 'This proves that she is worthy of being his real Mother in law!'

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (13)

Find the right combination

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

The Single Guy...

Man walks into a supermarket and buys :

1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?" The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" She replies "because you're ugly."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 28 December 2015
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

A college student picked up hi...

A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works. Finally he asked her,
"Does your Mother feed you like this at home?"
"No," she said, "but my Mother's not looking to get laid, either."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 December 2009
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (55)

A little girl is sitting on he...

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 December 2009
  • Currently 7.52/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (27)

A Moral Question

One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?"
The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 22 December 2010
  • Currently 3.79/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (24)

Chuck Norris can divide by zer...

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 22 December 2011
  • Currently 4.26/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (23)

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