Jokes of the day for Monday, 15 April 2019

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 15 April 2019
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (2109)

“A job application is

“A job application is when you must spell each word write.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

A teenager takes a seat on a b

A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper. After a few minutes the man looks over and stares intentively on the youth's multicolored mohawk. The teenager looks over at the man and says "What's the matter old man, never done anything interesting in your life?"
The man responded with "I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot, I was just wondering if you were my son."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.83/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (12)

Pun With Monks

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles." "I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?" Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar." She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?" "Yes, I'm the chip monk."
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 8.14/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (22)

Feel Like Curtains?

A patient sobs to his doctor, “I feel like a pair of curtains!”
Doctor replies, “Well pull yourself together man!”

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Man1: I am going to be a fathe...

Man1: I am going to be a father.
Man2: Your wife should be happy now I guess.
Man1: The problem is she doesn't know about it.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 February 2019
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (9)

 School Collection 21


Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!

1st Roman Soldier: What is the time?
2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?
Pupil: Nobody I know!


#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 21 August 2017
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Find number abc

If ccabc - bcabb = 20002 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

And a day was born...

God: "Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth."

Angel: "What are you going to do now?"

God: "Call it a day."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 April 2016
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (10)

Wake up call

A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he'd need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m."

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9 a.m. and he'd missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and scream at his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said: "It's 5 a.m. Wake up.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 15 April 2014
  • Currently 7.92/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (64)

Chuck Norris has an ongoing fe...

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck's tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 April 2011
  • Currently 2.87/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (38)

Undercover Clergy

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 April 2009
  • Currently 6.03/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (37)

Chuck Norris was born a blonde...

Chuck Norris was born a blonde, but the blood of his victims dyed his hair and beard to a healthy orange.
#joke #short #blonde #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 15 April 2013
  • Currently 3.52/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (21)

We want to strike Acco...

We want to strike Accord with anyone who's ever crashed their Honda.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 April 2011
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (18)

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