Jokes of the day for Monday, 18 May 2020

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 18 May 2020
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

What's good for the Gosl

What's good for the Gosling… Ryan Ginger
#joke
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

John goes to the deli for some

John goes to the deli for some soup. After he's seated and about to eat he calls the waiter over.
When the waiter comes he says, "Taste this soup."
The waiter says, "Why what's wrong with the soup?"
John says, "Taste this soup."
The waiter says, "John, you've come in here for thirty years and you always get the soup, you've never complained before."
John says, "Taste this soup."
The waiter says, "What? What is it? If you don't want the chicken soup we have other kinds - vegetable, Italian Ministrone?"
John says, "Taste this soup!"
The waiter finally agrees, "Fine John, fine! I'll taste the soup".
He leans over the table prepared to taste the soup, he hesitates and says, "Where's your spoon?"
"Exactly," says John, "Where's my bloody spoon?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.44/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (9)

“The escaped inmates

“The escaped inmates tried to fly to freedom. They were caught because they left contrails.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

 Knock Knock Collection 068


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Frances!
Frances who?
Frances hello!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Francie!
Francie who?
Francie that!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Francis!
Francis who?
Francis on the other side of the Channel!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Frank!
Frank who?
Franks and beans!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Franz!
Franz who?
Franz, Romans, Countryman...!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.50/10

Rating: 1.5/10 (8)

Sister's Graduation

Me: My sister graduated from college. I wish you could have been there. She wore a cap and nightgown.
Bob: A nightgown?
Me: Yeah. She went to night school.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.71/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (14)

Lost....

An exhausted hunter out in the wilds stumbled into a camp. "Am I glad to see you!" he said. "I've been lost for three days."

"Don't get too excited, friend," the other hunter replied. "I've been lost for three weeks."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 31 May 2017
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

What hides this stereogram?

Stereogram - 3D Image
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A man was telling his neighbor...

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 30 March 2016
  • Currently 7.03/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (32)

Google's pizza

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.

- So it's a wrong number? Sorry
- No sir, Google bought it.

- OK. Take my order please
- Well sir, you want the usual?

- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID data sheet, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizzawith cheeses, sausage, thick crust.

- OK! This is it ...
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato.?

- What? I hate vegetables.
- Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

- How do you know?
- We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name, through the subscribers guide.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

- Okay, but I do not want this pizza!,I already take medicine ...
-Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network.

- I bought more from another drugstore.
- It's not showing on your credit card statement

- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

- I have have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.

-WHAT THE HELL?
- I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

- Enough! I'm sick of google, facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me

- I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first as it has expired 5 weeks ago
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 May 2017
  • Currently 8.40/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (240)

Chuck Norris can drink an enti...

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 2.72/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (47)

Owen Benjamin: Public Restrooms for Guys

Its not an enjoyable place. We get a urinal; we dont get real estate. Its a little, creepy urinal, right? Ladies, you know what it feels like in the elevator when youre in complete silence with a bunch of strangers? Now put your penis in your hand.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 4.34/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (38)

What's white and if it fell ou...

What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A fridge.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 May 2010
  • Currently 3.81/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (36)

What Is This?

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says:
- What is this, a joke?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 18 May 2011
  • Currently 5.14/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (29)

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